Merry Christmas, Henry and Calder

Thanks for a fun afternoon! Love, Mei-Mei and Dina.
We love you.

On Thursday, we received Dalia's "Playlab Mid-Year Report" in Dalia's cubby, along with an adorable laminated ornament, a photo of her smiling so wide her eyes turn to horizontal slits. (One of the things I think about when I am not with her...how her eyes start to change shape when she makes a subtle joke, when she starts to laugh, and when she laughs so hard I can't see any part of her eyes.)

"Dalia is a very bright, happy, and busy little person. She adjusted very quickly to being in a new classroom and developed strong connections to teachers and peers. She is popular and has adjusted well to classroom routines. She does test limits in an age-appropriate way. Affect is almost always positive."

As Tal said, "A+ for Dalia!" The report went on to describe Dalia's Gross Motor and Fine Motor skills, Communication, Cognitive abilities, and Social/Emotional. Dalia and the other kids at Playlab received beautiful hardcover books; Dalia's is "There's a Nightmare in my Closet."

Dalia, in an orphanage and/or foster care for the first 18+ months of her life, is now more advantaged than most of the kids at Playlab in terms of the socioeconomic background (and place) and education of Tal and me, her parents. Tal and I certainly help shape her learning, her vocabulary most of all, but her personality would shine through in any circumstance, no matter what.

Most people reading this will know that Tal and I are separated (since August). We are both parenting Dalia, and working together to do so, to communicate, to understand her needs and encourage her growth.

She is now over 26 pounds. She's in the 50th percentile for height and weight, and in the 75th percentile for head circumference. Yea! I took Dalia to a naturopath last week to get input and some other options for some skin issues she's had and is having, and to learn more about what we can do to boost her immune system and help make up for all of the antibiotics she's been on. The Dr. was impressed with the variety of foods and liquids in her diet, and blown away by her vocabulary.

She is still challenged with Bs and Ps, substituting Ks and Gs for those sounds. But her "S" as in Snowman is clear as day!

Last Monday morning, she woke up and looked at the shade. "Stripes on there." Then looked at the pillow cases - the ones that were on the pillows my Mom used when she visited. "Stripes on there, too. Grandma's pillows. Grandma home." She woke up, played while I got dressed, and out of nowhere, brought me my glasses. I put some socks on her: "Dalia, these socks are a gift to you from Grandma Patty." Dalia said, "Thank you Grandma. Happy Hanukkah!"

Dalia will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Tal, Henry, Calder, Blair, and John. We are then taking the bus to Boston, and flying out the next day to visit family and friends in MN and WI. Dalia's adventures continue! Thank you - family and friends - for keeping in touch. It means so much to us.

Hello, Hanukkah!

"Hello, Hanukkah!" - Dalia's words as we pulled up to the Jewish Center at the College for Shabbat and Hanukkah services tonight with Middlebury Hillel. "Hanukkah" is a word Dalia can say with perfect clarity, too. I've been meaning to go to services with the students all year - so tonight was the night. When we gathered around the Menorah, and sang the blessings, everyone could hear Dalia's little, pretty, clear voice singing "ring around the rosey...". When we went around the room to introduce ourselves, Dalia was chitter-chattering, talking about "spinning" and watching the dreidel, one of the students said, referring to Dalia, "that is the highlight of my week."

Dalia is pure and simple joy. I wish that everyone reading this could have an afternoon with her (and then, a nap). She is nonstop fun, activity, playing, imagination, activity, trying and learning new words, making new yoga poses, running, laughing, friendly.

Her vocabulary is multiplying so quickly, I cannot keep up. Tonight, she woke up at 11 after falling asleep - finally - at 9 pm. She called for me several times, and I went in and held her. She said, "Mama, nightmare." So, we talked a little about bad dreams, and then I told her to think about all of the fun things she enjoys, and all of the people in her life who love her so much. There are many.

Daycare at Playlab continues to be fun and enriching for her. Today, she went to the library. Yesterday, to the Middlebury municipal gym. One day last week when I dropped her off, one of the high school students, Melissa, who is in the human services program at the high school/career center, said "Hi, Dalia!" and Dalia said, "hi, Melissa." She has friends of all ages.

Next surgery is scheduled for January 24th to repair her fistula (again) in her soft palate. We went to see Dr. Laub yesterday, and for the first time, she opened her mouth big and wide and said, "ahh" -- without tears -- just as we practiced! She missed school Mon-Weds, fever, ear infection, some impetigo again... but you would never have known it from looking at her. Ear tubes seem to be working... as fluid drained out. She's gained 3 pounds, is now 26 healthy pounds.


Tonight she ate fishsticks in the shape of fishies (Dr. Praeger's), celeriac and spinach pureed soup. She put the fish in the soup, "Fishy, in there." So it would swim. And ate applesauce -- Vermont Organics brand - highly recommended. And a smoothie -- finally! Sometimes she only eats almond butter.

This morning, we watched and Elmo dvd, and Mr. Noodle came on. "Mr. Noodle, moustache." We pretended we had moustaches by putting our fingers above our lips. She said, "Dalia, Moustache. Mama, moustache. . . Mama, Adam." As in, Uncle Adam, who has a moustache and a beard, whom she hasn't seen since August. Huh? She doesn't miss a thing! Happy Hanukkah, Dalia.

Oct 19 2010 - dalia's pumpkin, video then and now

Last weekend, I looked over all of the photos that I've taken of Dalia since we met her in China. It was astounding to me just how much she has grown and changed. I know, it's obvious. When people see her after a month or so, they always comment, "she looks great!" or "she's getting so tall!". But seeing those photos from March compared to being with her now really made the change apparent.

And then there's her lip and palate. Wow. I've attached 3 video clips from my camera -- one from last March, before her first surgery for her cleft lip and hard palate, and two from last Saturday. In one, we're listening to the Beach Boys, and Dalia is looking a photo of herself taken in China. The last is of her sitting on a chair, talking to herself and talking to her bunny. NOTE - am having trouble uploading video... will try again soon!

Today, we went to see Dr. Laub (again). She'll have to have another surgery #4 in January to try to repair her fistula (hole in her palate). She's doing fine; the concern is that she is developing speech habits that will be hard to break if we wait longer to repair it. And then there's the little problem of food and liquids that come out of her nose... which cannot be comfortable for her! Though she has always known this.

She has worn her mudboots (thanks, Mia and Freeman!) for 5 days straight. She will probably wear them until she grows out of them... which will be soon.

When I picked her up at Playlab today, it was almost naptime. She was in a small room with Howdy, and classmates Charles and Mark. Howdy was reading, and the kids were on their mats. As I picked Dalia up, she said, "bye Howdy, bye Izzy..." So cute to see her talk to her little friends!

beautiful fall day with Dalia

We had such a good time with Grandma Patty! Grandma left early Monday morning. Dalia still says every day, "Grandma!" Or, "Grandma, home." Last night it was, "Miss Grandma" (as I've been saying, "I miss Grandma"). Dalia does not forget people. She hadn't seen our good friend, and her "Aiyi" (auntie) Renee in 2 months -- and when Renee visited her, she remembered her instantly. Her vocabulary is stretching and bursting like a large, plump balloon. When I put her in her carseat to take my Mom to the airport, it was still dark. She said, "Mama! Moon up there." We've been reading "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?" She can say it by herself. She also says, "bunny, bunny, what do you see?... panda, panda what do you see?"

Alisa, her speech therapist visited last week after not seeing her for a month or more. Within minutes, she said, "It's happening, I'm falling in love all over again." She is very impressed with Dalia's pronunciation. We need to work on B and P sounds. She was sick the week before last, fever and impetigo - again. Also took her up to see Dr. Laub, her surgeon, and got confirmation that she still has a fistula (hole) in her soft palate. Ugh. More surgery. Hopefully not any time soon as I cannot imagine putting her through another surgery, another hospital stay, another two weeks of stage two baby foods (liquids/soft foods). But, we will see what he says in a few weeks.

She loves Playlab (day care). She is known and loved there. She has four core teachers, Howdy, Hayley, Marcie and Sara. She also has the benefit of many of the Parent Child Center staff who rotate in and out during the weeks -- bringing the food for breakfasts, lunches and snacks, which is home made and prepared at the Center down the road. Monday afternoons she goes to the Center while the staff is in a meeting - so she plays more with Peggy and Ruth. This is extra meaningful for me as I am on the board of the PCC -- and now have another reason to appreciate this place and its people. I was so sad to have to call in every morning to tell them that Dalia wouldn't be coming in again because of her fever.

Friends, colleagues, and Middlebury College people (parents, alums, students) are interested in her, want to meet her and play with her. Today, after going to the cider squeeze at Jill and Ebens, we went to the College football game. Packed stadium, gorgeous clear blue sky fall day -- leaves in peak color, views of the mountains around. So fun to share her with new and old friends.

She has grown out of many of the wonderful hand me downs that we received... the khaki padded jacket from Ruby, the blue corduroy dress with the kitties on it from Vivian... and the pink Pumas (also from Ruby). Most days she only wants to wear nothing -- or a bathing suit, like the 45 degree rainy day that she refused to wear anything but her bathing suit when I needed to take her to the doctor's office and then go into my office to pick up my computer. Everyone had a good laugh seeing her run down the hall in her blue bathing suit with the hearts on it while we were all freezing our butts off. Fortunately, we have bigger girl hand me downs from Lily, and a new batch of winter hand me downs from the Pratt-Calahans and the Cady-McCrellishes (NBS community).

I've been behind on the blog but will get back to writing and posting photos of our beautiful girl.

school days

Welcome Grandma Patty!

This morning, Patty, Dalia and I drove toward Playlab, Dalia's daycare, at the Hannaford Career Center at Middlebury Union High School (affiliated with the Parent Child Center).

As we turned into the parking lot, Dalia sat up, eyes lit up, and said, "Howdy? Howdy?" -- Howdy is the name of her favorite teacher. She loves Howdy, she loves "school." She's been going to day care for the past 2 1/2 week -- went right in and played with the play-do and the dolls and the markers right away. We are SO fortunate to have this child!! And so fortunate to be able to send her to such a positive place. 15 kids, 4 teachers, some rotate from the Parent Child Center but three are there every day. The kids go for walks through town, they explore the new bridge being built over Otter Creek, they walk to the river and look for frogs, they go to the playgrounds.

Today, my friend, Pam saw Dalia on one of her walks. She waved to Dalia and Dalia waved back. Mama was happy.

Today, we also went to visit Dr. Laub for Dalia's second post-operative appointment. All looks fine, though there is one of the fistula (holes) that is clearly still healing. We leaned Dalia back to take a look into her mouth. I could see perfectly -- a sore spot ... and a tooth!! In the middle of seemingly nowhere (no other teeth). But Dr. Laub couldn't see... so, Grandma Patty made Dalia laugh by blowing up a rubber glove... and finally Laub confirmed.

Now - we work on her speech, or rather, SHE works on her speech with her speech therapist and on her own. We see if she still has the strong nasal sound with air coming out of her nose when she speaks. And we see the speech specialist on the Cleft Lip/Palate Team in the spring.

Her vocabulary is multiplying. She can now say several two-word sentences and three-syllable words. Moccasin. Dalia's room. Come back, sun! Grandma in there. Elmo sleeping. Night night, Mama.

aug 30 surgery... all went well

Dalia is asleep, it's 9:21 p.m. I'm relieved to say that her surgery went well today. No complications. Platelets normal, healthy. Brave girl. Dr. Laub repaired two pinholes in the back of her palate and one large hole up front. I won't go into the details here of how he did it... but I will tell you off-blog if you are interested. She was screaming when she came out of anesthesia... IV in an uncomfortable place, it took 4 adults to hold her down. Sound familiar? She was screaming for Mama and she called down when we arrived at her bed.

Took a bottle, slept, up, slept. Then, "walk" -- we walked down the hall and into the wonderful toy room she went. "Off!" i.e. put me down -- and she sat on the bouncing zebra with music. This was 2 hours after her surgery. Played more with toys in the room for a while - amazing sight to see this tough kid. Slept more, rode around in pink car, the red car and the blue chaise car. Ate 2 cups of ice cream and.... nothing came out through the nose!!! It's a first.

Now it's pain management and keep her full of liquids (soft foods). Home tomorrow.

Day care at Playlab starts next week!

Photos from Grandma Patty's - August 2010

Happy Birthday Dalia

For Dalia's birthday, her brother, Calder designed a colorful three-tier cake, made up of three of Dalia's favorite shapes -- heart, star and triangle. It was beautiful! He and Grandma Ginger baked and decorated it with colorful frosting, flowers and streaming ribbons. It looked festive in a Chinese way. Grandma Gin-Gin, Grandpa Ralph, Mama, Baba (Daddy), Calder, Henry, Blair, John and Virginia all came to celebrate. Truly a joyous occasion. I was thankful all day that this little girl has come into my and our lives.

She has grown so much since we met her on March 7th. Every day is a day to appreciate her! We gave her a Xi Yang Yang sweatshirt and matching backpack that we bought in Lanzhou, China, when we bought her some colorful sneakers. We kept it for her over the past 6 months. Good to see that even though Elmo is her new favorite, she still loves Yang Yang. ("Pleasant Goat" - her favorite Chinese cartoon character)

Dalia and I are at Grandma Patty's in Wisconsin. Today was a big day as she took a swimming lesson at the YMCA with 3 other little boys and their mamas, along with me. Ginger has taken her swimming in the Middlebury town pool - it's clear she's been ready for lessons. The Y kiddie pool is perfect, with a gradual ramp into deeper water. We kicked, we splashed, we submerged, we swam after balls, we sang songs. This may be the first class Dalia has taken. She was somewhat distracted by all of the action but I think she liked it. She loves to swim! She is leaning to blow bubbles in the pool water -- a huge step with her new lip. We'll return the next 3 days. She was the only Asian child in the pool.

She has been saying many more words, words with multiple syllables, and putting phrases together. "Hummingbird"; "Come back, sun"; "Grandma's house", "running shoes," "bathing suit", etc.

Her diet is rich in good foods - for dinner, she had salmon, hard-boiled egg, almond butter, a fresh peach, garbanzo beans, rice milk, water, and zucchini bread. She still loves popsicles and has learned to slurp.

She remembers names of people she meets and talks about them afterwards. What good company you are, Dalia!

1, 2, 3, go!

Dalia has learned this handy phrase. First picked it up while standing on the dock, watching listening to Tal and/or me look out at the pond, count down, and jump in. Now she uses it whenever possible! "One" is clear, then comes two beats, then "go!"

The good news is... she is back to her usual healthy, strong, funny self. She is trying new foods like almond butter, which she calls "ahm". She's having a blast every day, so busy playing outside in her sandbox, going into the pond occasionally, visiting the chickens in their newly renovated home - thanks to Tal, playing in the garden with Ginger, being held (and visiting chickens) with Ralph, going to the playground with Renee, picking and eating wild blackberries with Mama.

The not so good news is that her palate didn't close all the way -- there was a tiny opening which has since gotten bigger, after the surgery. So.. we will go back to Dr. Laub and Fletcher Allen for another surgery, outpatient if possible... (hopes not high) on August 30. Her platelet counts are normal now. However... she went back on the INH/Isoniazid medication for TB virus. We'll see later this month how her platelets are, hopefully still normal. She has endured many doctor visits and taking of blood.

I returned to travel for work the past 2 weeks, went to NYC for 2 nights last week and the week before. It was tough to be away, though I knew she was not missing me very much, as she was with her Dad and Grandparents. I walked in from having been gone and it for her was as if I had never left. I hope!

Will add more photos tomorrow.....

home from hospital

Whew. It was a long three days at the hospital. Mostly for Dalia, of course. The breathing tube was removed on Tuesday morning at about 10. She didn't cry at all - though her throat was so swollen that she could barely make a peep. And I do mean "peep." When she did finally try to say something, "help, Mama", she sounded like a squeeky baby bird. The day was spent with her in Tal's arms or my arms. Trying to get liquids into her, lots of sleep. We moved to the regular peds ward, Baird 5, and fortunately had our own room. Ate ice cream, slept, tried to play, cried, tried to stand, swaggered. Lots of "Hurt, hurt, owee," while pointing at her mouth or her ankles, where the IVs were placed.

In the afternoon, Dr. Rasczka, the infectious disease specialist paid us a visit. Turns out that there are only a handful of documented cases of INH (her medication) related to low platelet counts. And it turns out that her TB diagnosis is even in question (for reasons I won't go into). So, we may have been giving her INH for 3 months for nothing. But we don't know yet... we don't know for certain why her counts were so low. A big, thorny, painful mystery.

We slept through the night. Dalia on top of Tal, who slept on one of the pull-out chairs. I went to sleep on what was supposed to be Dalia's crib/bed, about 4 feet up in the air. Nurse Sarah came in at 11 PM and had a good laugh - and found another pull-out chair for me. We were awakened at 6:30 AM by a someone with a cart ... who came to take Dalia's blood. Ok, I thought, this is the interferon TB test. She took some blood, walked out the door, and I could hear her raving about how great a patient Dalia had been. Dalia looked a lot better to me - and I made up my mind that we were going to get her discharged that day. Only problem was, she wasn't drinking. We ordered a few bowls of soup.

Med students came in. Residents came in. Dr. Laub came in. Some vials showed up and sat on a chair. Then... another phlebotomist to take her blood. Wait a minute... didn't we already go through this?! So frustrating. The first time was to check her platelets, which were normal. This test was the TB test. I was pissed that the residents didn't have it together enough to only take her blood once. I asked the phlebotomist to come back when we knew that there weren't going to be any more tests for little D. An hour later, we called her. Tal and I, along with 2 nurses and 2 Child Life social workers with a cart full of bright lights, fans, and bubbles to distract Dalia, took her to the "procedure room" to get the other sample. It had gotten to the point that anyone coming into the room scared her.

It was good to be home, though we were all exhausted. Dalia was like a normal sick kid for about 24 hours, not much energy, though enough for Elmo. Since then, she's lived on Hummus (which she calls, "Humma"), soup, mashed potatoes, smoothies, and pediasure (ingredients: water, sugar...). Unfortunately, food is coming out her nose still. Not sure what this means but we are dreading another surgery sooner than we had thought.

Thursday, I went back to work - a shell. I am still exhausted.

Henry went to Maine and is already having a blast - kayaking, buying used books at the library, sailing, playing guitar. Yesterday, Tal, Calder, Dalia and I picked 14+ pounds of blueberries. We didn't even get to the raspberries!! Later in the afternoon, when Tal and Calder were at work doing some renovations on the chicken coop... Calder stepped on two nails. Another trip to the hospital! Poor kid - he is tough. Now he is on crutches, using his already injured leg to move around to protect his newly injured leg. Tal pointed out I'm the only on not injured. Fingers crossed....

cleft palate surgery

It's 6:30 AM on Tuesday in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and here we are with our little D. Dalia's surgery was yesterday. Both the ear tubes and the palate repair surgeries went well, nothing unusual, though her ears were terribly clogged with fluid on top of hardened layers of old fluid. But. She lost a lot of blood during the surgery, which lasted 4 and 1/2 hours rather than 2 1/2. After 3 hours and not hearing anything, I started to get worried. They think that her bleeding is a side effect of her INH medication (for positive TB), which causes a decrease in platelets. Her platelet count went down to 40; normal starts at 150. So...they kept her in the OR, gave her a blood transfusion and a platelet transfusion, then moved her to the PICU, with a breathing tube, sedation medicine in a drip and more as needed if she "wakes up", IV fluids and anti-inflammatroies.

She did wake up a few times when we were here last night. Man, is that little girl strong! As the nurses said this morning when switching over shifts, “Dalia gets up with a bang. I had to ask the parents to help hold her down. It took four people to hold her til we gave her the Versed.” “Dalia’s got game!.”

And since writing… she just woke up again for many minutes, blew through all kinds of additional sedation while Jeanne added more. The respiratory specialist is here, too. The pediatrician last night said “she’s a professional,” i.e. she takes a lot of sedation…

All of her nurses here, Pat (male), Katie (overnight) and now Jeanne have been wonderful. Her hair was sticking straight up and full of gunk -- blood, saline, who knows - it was punk rock. Katie washed it over night and she looks much better.

The positive aspect of her being sedated all night is that she wasn't able to squirm around and use her tongue to fidget with her palate. Palate had a chance to heal a bit. What we are hoping for is that the blood is clotting properly (and not going in to her lungs) so she can breathe on her own without bleeding.

So far so good. The (second) anesthesiologist from her surgery stopped by, as did Dr. Laub, her surgeon. He took a look in her mouth - looks good.

Sunday night (before surgery) we didn’t sleep too well as Dalia decided to wake up from 2-3:30 to have some conversation about the previous day’s events. “Horsey. Dalia. Horsey. Neigh!” then a review of select body parts: “Toe. Leg. Arm, Nose. Hair. Hair. Hair.” then family “Nana. Gaga. Dalia. Guh Guh. Hen. Cawker.”

We got to the hospital at 6 AM thinking that her surgery was at 7:45 AM. Turns out it was at 10:45. Dalia, her usual good-spirited and curious self, had a blast looking through magazines at colorful photos, practicing her words, looking at the art up and down the halls, going around the revolving doors, and then playing with the wonderful toys once we waited in the pre-op area. We played with 2 Child Life specialists, and our friend Gretchen came to visit again.

Tal and I spent the night in the “teen room” up on Baird 5, the pediatrics ward where Dalia will likely be moved to today. Amidst the playstations, the tv, the fusbol game, the air hockey and books, we slept on the pull-out couch. The nurses let me into the Ronald McDonald House family room this morning -- what a pleasure. I took a shower and made some tea for me and coffee for Tal, then rushed down to see Dalia.

Over the weekend, I thought, “Dalia’s biological parents must be some kind of amazing people. I could never have created this kid!” Sometimes I get really sad for them. But then I realize that those are my emotions. Maybe they were relieved to place Dalia in others’ care. I will never know. All I can do is be grateful, and hope that when they think of her, they believe that she is well loved and healthy, their special little girl.

… more later.

first haircut, carousel, shelburne museum

Dalia has had a very full two days! Yesterday, she had her first haircut. Her bangs were growing out, and she looked so cute with a barette in... but she pulled out the barrette after 5 minutes. So, with the weather so hot, the bug bites many, and surgery coming up, I thought it would feel great to cut it all off. SO adorable, and wicked cool. Now she has super short hair just like Mama's stylish friend, Liz.

Daddy and Calder were away at a soccer tournament for the weekend but got back in time to watch the World Cup Final. Henry spent the weekend doing lots of reading. Last night, Dalia and I went down to the East Middlebury playground for an hour or so and had so much fun on the animals, the slide, climbing all over the place. We met some other nice little girls -- Aspen, from Granville, and 2 older girls from E. Midd who were collecting tiny frogs, the size of the tip of my finger, that were on the basketball court next to the playground.

Today, Ginger, Ralph, Dalia and I went up to the Shelburne Museum in Shelburne. This is a destination, for anyone considering coming to Vermont. shelburnemuseum.org . We went to see the exhibit "Alzheimer's: Forgetting, Piece by Piece", an exhibit of quilts about people who have/had Alzheimer's. The first quilt I approached was an image of three trees, that looked much like the Tree of Life symbol in Judaism. The leaves of the trees had words that related to the artist's father's life, his interests, and his gradual losses from Alzheimer's. I read one line of the description of the quilt and started to cry. I had to just look around at some of the quilts before I could go back and read. I found much to remember about my Dad's dementia and Alzheimer's. I also found much to appreciate about how he was throughout, and the last year of his life. In front of one wall was a counter top, a few chairs, some colorful slips of paper, and a large cardboard wall-hanging that looked like a honeycomb. Visitors could write notes, roll up the paper and put it into the wall. I took a piece of paper, with Dalia on my lap, and wrote "Dear Grandpa Don, We remember you. Love, Dina and Dalia, your Granddaughter."

Another exhibit featured old artwork and a carousel from Circuses past. The best part for Dalia was a real carousel! We rode on a white horse with blonde hair. Such fun; she didn't want to get off. She fell asleep on the way home. When she woke up, sprawled out on the couch, her first word was, "Horsey!." Here's to many more horsey rides, Dalia!

OT, ST, swimming in the pond

These are busy days for young Dalia. She has had visits from Sandy, the ocupational therapist, and Alisa, the speech therapist. I've missed out on the visits, having started back at work full time, but Tal is here, and has taken notes and me in. OT at this point involves Dalia using her mouth, her tongue and teeth and gums in new ways so that she can eat more efficiently and control her drooling a bit. We have a mirror on the table so she can watch herself eat, and we have lots of rubber toys for her to chew on, and for us to play tug-of-war with. She's got a Nuk, which looks like a mini rubber version of a medieval torture device, except it feels great in her mouth. Tal ordered some toothbrushes that vibrate. She loves it all!

Her language acquisition is very advanced, but she has problems with some pronunciation. She usually says "Na Na" instead of "Mama" but is getting better at the Ms. We are to work with her on B sounds and P sounds. We also are supposed to be working with her to get her to blow bubbles, to work on some of the aspiration sounds. She continues to surprise us with all of her words and combinations. Tal made a list and came up with 300 or so words... this in less than 4 months in the US!

Like everywhere in the Northeast, it has been so hot here... which makes it all the better for swimming! Dalia has been playing in her kiddie pool on the deck all the time. All weekend, she ordered Tal and me to dive into the pond over and over again, imitating us counting, "One, Two Three, Go!" and making a pushing motion with her hand. Minutes after we came out, she would say, "Na na? Na na? ..." until I jumped in again. Finally... Ginger managed to entice Dalia into the water by laying a towel out into the water, which made Dalia curious enough to climb on top of it. Yea! We've been having great times watching the huge frogs at the pond and listening to them talk to each other.

Today, Dalia woke up saying, "owee, owee, hurt, hurt." Somehow, we hadn't noticed a huge sliver on the bottom of her foot - and now, she couldn't walk on it. Tal decided to take her to the hospital to have it removed. Shots of Lydacaine later... major extractions and lots of screaming ... and all better.

Tonight, while she was watching "Elmo's Shapes and Colors", I was folding laundry as she was playing with a tiny stuffed animal lamb. She pointed to the t-shirt and said her version of "off", so I took the t-shirt off. She held out lamb's shirt and placed it gently in the laundry basket.

And now, this Monday will be Dalia's second surgery to repair her cleft palate and to put tubes into her ears. We will report from the hospital, if not sooner!

journey to Lake Superior, Grandma Patty's

I realized one night while trying to stay awake hoping Dalia would fall asleep that even though this blog is called "all about Dalia", it is really more about my experiences of her and with her. I hope some day she will tell her story using her own words and perspective.

Dalia and I ventured to Bob's Cabins on the shore of Lake Superior, MN, on June 17th. My family takes an annual trip to Bob's over Grandma's Marathon weekend every year. It was paradise. Bob's has 13 simple cabins spread out over the rocky shoreline on this Great Lake. On the North Shore, the air has its own rich clean piney smell, the light takes hues unlike anywhere else. From our cabin perched right above the shoreline, through our wide windows, we could hear the waves on the rocks and the loons at night.

We flew from Burlington to Newark, missing our connection as the plane left late, and when we were finally about to land, wheels down, suddenly the plane looped back up into the sky. Wind shear. So, we circled Newark while I said goodbye to arriving on time. Fortunately, we were put on a later connection, but it meant 2 hours to kill in the busy Newark A terminal... with a very well-rested and wound-up Dalia! We plopped our backpack and stroller down in the wide hallway for people exiting and entering from security to other terminals, under a huge Eagle. Dalia quickly learned the word "eagle" and said it over and over, while pointing to the eagle's eye. We made friends with an adorable 18-month old boy who was on his way to Omaha We chased each other around, I pulled Dalia out from the middle of the hallway. I pulled up my jeans, again. Put my hair back in the ponytail.

We made it to Minneapolis, went to pick up the rental car. Mama is exhausted at this point, pushing the cart with the luggage, and Dalia on top. We get to the car, a Nissan cube, 90 degrees out. Ahhh, Minnesota air, Minnesota humidity. I look in the back seat and the car seat is there, shiny new, but not attached. Since I had never put a car seat in before (Tal does this), I panicked. I did the best I could, but am thankful now that I didn't ever stop abrubtly as Dalia may have gone flying! Bad Mom. Thirty minutes later. stuck in downtown ST. Paul rush hour, her bottle falls, "goggle? goggle?" then I hear the back door open and see Dalia's foot playing with the door handle. AH! I pulled over, put the blinkers on, shut the door, tightened the seat, and turned on the door lock.

Thankfully, Dalia was her usual easy-going self for the rest of the 3 1/2 hour drive up to Two Harbors. We had a good time, singing, talking, Dalia playing with the plastic animals that GinGin had given her.

The weekend was beautiful. Dalia met all of my family, learned everyone's name -- quickly. Cousin Vivian, friend Lizzy, and Cousin Sela were all on hand to be Dalia's big sisters; Grandma Patty "Grahmma" was there to reunite with her honey, Aunt San, Lizann, Susan "Soo Sah", Uncle Adam "Adah", cousin Peter, Ned, Tom and Sally Patterson were all there to watch, play and love on Dalia.

The lake is between 35-40 degrees in the summer. Many of us jumped in -- an annual tradition -- off the sacred rock. Dalia was not affected by the cold. She waded into the water, stood there, sat in the water, played with rocks, oblivious to the temperature. She just wanted to be in the water.

The first day, she pointed to the bottom of Susan's shoes, and said, "heart." Sure enough, there was a big red heart imprinted on the sole. The next day, while walking, she looked at the bottom of her own shoes and said, "heart." Another day, Sela's blue Keens were sitting outside. Dalia pointed to the shoes and said, "Sela." A little dog named Sweetie Pie who lives at the property ran over to Dalia one day and ran on top of her and over her many times. Dalia was understandably a little scared - and cried. Five minutes later, she said, "Puppy, puppy." She decided it was time to go see the dog again and face her down. Brave girl.

Grandma Patty finished the half with a very strong time -- with many of us cheering her on. Congrats, Mom!

Sunday was Father's Day. I was missing Grandpa Don so much. This was the first year being at Bob's without him alive. I felt him there, and will always. I felt the strong Dad, the Dad that ran so many Grandma's marathons, seeing him on London Road and at the finish, with his group of running ladies, "Don's Dollies" surrounding him. The Dad I knew before the dementia and Parkinsonism. I remembered my Dad in the later days, too, sleeping, calmly eating his yogurt, swinging the wiffle ball bat and falling like a tall tree, only to say, "TFO" ("too f*&#ing old"), and was grateful for ALL of the years he was with us.

We went back to Patty's on Monday (I was sad to leave). Tuesday evening, we had the unveiling of my Dad's graveside marker and the marble bench with "Wolkoff" engraved on it. So many friends and family came out. Dalia was oddly quiet throughout. I felt similarly removed, a little numb. So hard to go back to that spot where many tears fell, but so important to do so. Afterwards, we all went out to my Mom's for dinner and conversation.

Everyone there had in some way gone through the long wait for little Dalia Ruth along with us. And now to be able to introduce her to these core people in my life, people who were so close to my Dad -- for whom she is named -- and who are points of strength for my Mom, felt so natural and whole to me.

The trip wouldn't have been complete without swimming in the Willow River... with Dalia. I carried her over to the shallow sandy side where we walked against the current, and with the current. We walked with the fish, past the crawfish and river clams. Such a joy to be there. Perhaps my most blissful moments with Dalia were on the last day up at Bob's Cabins. We woke up early, and Dalia said, "lake, lake!" We went down the lake, she played in the freezing water, then came back to me, and sat on my lap, on the rocks, without moving. We both just sat there together, looking out at the lake, with Dalia in my arms.

Words from Dalia continue to be a source of amazement for Mama (me). Or, "Nah nah", as she calls me. Dalia has started to use the word "help" instead of whining sounds when either (1) asking for something - usually something she shouldn't be playing with, or (2) asking for help. She can make a sentence, like, "Help, Mama" or, "Mama toes." One morning I read her a story about a little rooster, and made a Cock-a-doodle-doo sound. She says, "goo goo gah goo!". This morning when she woke up the second time (she woke up at 3:45 wanting a bottle), she sat up and smiled and said, "goo goo gah goo!".

World Cup Football is big here. One of Dalia's favorite words is, "Messi!" She yells "Messi", smiles and puts her hands in the air as if she's making a touchdown. Messi plays for Argentina. Tal's brother, Peter is visiting from Atlanta. I learned that today, the boys, Tal and Peter watched the World Cup for a few hours. Dalia ran around them, around and around, flopping on pillows, laughing, flopping over and over again. This is a wild child! She has so much energy.

Tonight, my Mom called. I put Granda Patty on speaker phone. As soon as Dalia heard her voice, she put the backs of her hands together and clapped like a walrus said "Ohr Ohr", the walrus noise, and then put her hands next to her head like she was sleeping. This she remembered from when my Mom was visiting in April, when they looked at a photo of a walrus, sleeping on a rock, at Lillian's desk at CAWLI, our agency.

Ralph and Ginger, Tal's parents, came here 3 weeks ago to help out while I went to work part time. They have SO much fun with her and she with them - playing, reading, doing art. Ralph is the official chicken caretaker -- he walks into our house in the morning and Dalia says, "bock, boh boh bock bock bock" like a chicken. Then she goes outside with her Grandpa, and they feed the chickens, give them water and dandelion leaves.

Dalia is elligible for services for occupational therapy, i.e. eating, and speech therapy through the Family, Infant and Toddler Program (which has a new name - can't remember!). The FIT program is run out of the Addison County Parent Child Center, where I am on the Board and where Dalia will go to day care in the fall. My insurance covers it, thankfully; but if it didn't the PCC would pay. We are so fortunate.

Michelle, the intake coordinator met with Dalia and me 2 weeks ago. I filled out a "21-month assessment" for Dalia. She is above average on developmental skills, and even on her language. A little borderline above on "problem solving" - probably because she has only been here for 3 months.

Sandy, the occupational therapist came to visit. I learned that because of her cleft palate, the nerve endings in her mouth might not work evenly - there may be spots where she doesn't feel as much or may be more sensitive. I learned that I will be doing some exercises with Dalia and some chew toys to "awaken her mouth." We'll be mixing thicker drinks for her so she can practice using her top lip on a cup and sucking in the liquid. Dalia loves popsicles - she eats 3-6 each day. Sandy thinks this is because the popsicles "awaken her mouth" also. Dalia likes to brush her teeth, which we will encourage.

Today was my first day back to work full-time. I know she was very happy here at home, so that helps. Now... off to Minnesota and Wisconsin!

Congratulations, Henry on graduating from North Branch School!! Well done. You are ready...

Cow, Car, Cat

Or, to be complete, "Cow - Moo Moo! Car - Voom Voom! Cat - Yeow!"

Dalia is talking up a storm. From the instant she wakes, she makes words and sounds. Every morning, the first sounds I hear could be:
"Foot"
"Eye"
"Hi"
"Ge Ge (pronounced "Guh Guh") - which means "older brother." Usually, she says "Ge Ge, HehYee" (Henry) all at once.
"Gar?" asking for Garfield, our cat
"Chahk" (sock)
Or, whispering, "Ba Ba" or "Gah Gah" (Daddy)

Tonight, when she was having her bottle before falling asleep, she had several glugs, then, "Owl - Hoo Hoo" every 3 minutes or so til the bottle fell out of her mouth and she conked out.

What's amazing is she can also now see pictures of the things she has words for and say the words in the book.

This morning, we read the book "The Kissing Hand" about a Mama and a baby raccoon. Yesterday, I wore a t-shirt with a cartoonish raccoon on it. As we read the book today, she perfected her version of the word, "HaaCooo(n)".

Sometimes I use words in English and then use the Chinese word. Tonight, I said, "those flowers are so pretty." She said, "Kai Yah", which is her version for the Chinese word for "pretty," "piao liang." My bilingual baby. Maybe it was an accident; I don't think so.

This afternoon while walking around the many soccer fields at the Tree Farm in Essex, with Dalia in the backpack, where Calder had a game and Tal was coaching, out of the blue I hear "Haacoo(n)!" Over and over. Not sure why she was thinking about raccoons -- or she just felt like making the sound.

As Calder played his game and I and others cheered for him, she became more adept with his name and yelled it out very loudly, "Cah Guh!"

I could go on and on, obviously!

Calder plays soccer on a club team called Synergy that practices up in Shelburne. He is #6 on the U13 team (i.e. 13 and under) with mostly 13 year olds even though he is 12. Since he's been with the club for 3 years, we know the families and the kids well. Tal, especially, since he helps coach. Today after the game, the Synergy U13 parents brought a beautiful chocolate cake with white frosting, and "Welcome Dalia" on the top -- to officially welcome our little treasure to the U.S. and the "Synergy Nation." They also gave her an adorable sherbert colored (white with pastel pink, blue, yellow, green arms, legs, and hands with white paws) bear from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. The bear is wearing a white t-shirt with a Synergy patch on the front, and on the back is stitched "Dalia - U2". We named Dalia captain of the Synergy 2 and under team!! This box that her brothers are carrying her in the photo is the teddy bear box. Thanks, Synergy!

She is doing well. I haven't written recently as time has been limited, playing with her and watching her all day -- a joy -- doing 1-2 hours of work a day, and the other stuff of home. Just exhausted. Two weeks ago she had a very high fever which turned out to be related to an ear infection. She had been tugging at her ears for weeks. She was prescribed Amoxycillin. 24 hours later she was covered in spots and huge red blotches. We are learning about which class of antibiotics she can take; and yes, I am keeping a list. Thank you Cousin/Doctor Susan for taking a look at the spot photos over the internet on Saturday night!

Tal and Henry completed the 9th grade hiking trip on the Long Trail for 3 days and had glorious weather almost the whole time; no snow this year. Ralph and Ginger return to Vermont on Tuesday, which will allow me to return to work part-time until Tal finishes school.

Oh, our other news is that a beaver has moved into our lower pond. While extremely cute, and huge, he has also already taken large chunks out of one of the beautiful birch trees. . . Hopefully by next posting, Mr. Beaver will have moved.

country girl, city girl

Dalia, Grandma Patty and I went to Boston last weekend to attend a workshop for people considering adopting Special Needs/Waiting Children from China sponsored by China Adoption With Love, our adoption agency in Brookline. Even though I would be one of a few parents who had adopted a special needs child, and it was a long way to drive... I really wanted to give back to our agency in this way and at least try to provide -- through sharing my story, our story, and dalia's story, not to mention bringing her along in person! I also just wanted Lillian, the woman who founded CAWLI (and is in the photo) to meet Dalia. And I wanted Dalia to hear some "real Chinese" from Lillian. Indeed, Lillian saw Dalia, called her Dong Ling, and said, "Guai Guai" - which means something like "Oh, good little girl." (lit. "obedient"). And then when we were taking photos, Lillian told Dong Ling to look at Mama, which she did (in another photo) -- hearing Lillian speak sounded so clear and beautiful to me, and, I imagine to Dalia. I wish that Dalia could be hearing "real" Chinese every day rather than mine.

Before traveling to China, I drove to CAWLI to go over our paperwork with Lillian. She came into the room, sat down, looked at me very seriously and said, "Dong Ling. Very smart." I thought, oh, yeah, that's what she tells everyone. But, Lillian said that the orphanage director in Tianshui had told her this. And when we met Dong Ling/ Dalia, we agreed!

At the workshop, there was a little girl, aged 3, who was brought home with hepatitis B who now shows no signs of the disease. She is definately thriving. There was another little girl aged 5 who was only brought back to the U.S. 3 months ago. This girl has cleft lip and palate. Her speech is obviously challenged. At one point, her Mom said her Chinese name, and she happily repeated her name out loud a few times and pointed to herself. She also spoke some English words. Like Dalia, she hasn't had her palate repaired yet. Another little boy was adopted 3 years ago at 3 years of age. He walked into the workshop wearing a white Tae Kwon Do uniform with a sash and patches. The attendees were in all stages of the process -- one couple had accepted a referral of a 6 year old girl and will be traveling to China soon; another couple have a Chinese daughter already and would like to adopt a second child, and others considering a Special Needs/waiting Child. One woman asked me who stayed with my boys when Dalia had her surgery.... I said, "well, they are my stepsons, so they were probably at their Mom's." She has a five-year-old son. An appropriate question.

All the while Dalia was either standing in front of the group, looking at everyone and tossing back her water out of a bottle, walking over to the other kids and getting real close, playing with their toys or offering hers, talking, or running up and down the hall with Grandma Patty. It was a joy to be there. My heart and mind hurt for the families sitting in those chairs.

The day before, Grandma Patty, Dalia and I spent the afternoon in the Boston Public Garden, walking around, looking at the flowers, listening to the fiddle players, the saxophonists, dancing, and riding on the Swan Boats. Dalia was absolutely ecstatic about the live ducks and would exclaim, loudly, "ohhhhhh!" whenever she saw one. Followed by her version of "quack quack" and waddling around on the ground. Spent a lot of time at the "make way for ducklings" sculpture of the mama duck (which Grandma sat on top of) and the 8 baby ducks. Visited our friends and their two new beautiful twin daughters. Dalia was the big girl!

We came home Saturday afternoon to Baba and Ge Ge (daddy and brothers). Sunday we went hiking -- Dalia in the pack -- to Lake Pleiad in the Green Mountains at the Snow Bowl. Dalia stripped down and played in the water; brother Henry found a red epht, brother Calder fished a newt out of the Lake. She does love being in nature and running around. Welcome, Summer for Dalia!

snowy april 28

Last Tuesday and Wednesday, we had 10-12 inches of beautiful, thick white snow!! It was beautiful to see the bright green leaves and grass (eventually totally covered by snow) contrasted with the white, to hear the springtime birds still singing in a winter setting. We lost power on Wednesday but had great time. I made a fire, boiled water on the woodstove and made Dalia's soup on the wood stove. I dressed her in her thick, padded Chinese "OK" pants and red padded sweatshirt with the Russian writing on it, and a hat. I made a snow man, she ate a lot of snow. Here are some photos.

first CLP clinic

Last week, we went up to Burlington to attend a clinic sponsored by the State of VT, focused on children with special needs, in this case, kids with cleft lip and palate. Purpose was to meet in one room Dalia's team who will oversee her care, surgery, speech therapy, orthodontia, bone grafts etc. from now until she is all "growed up."

We feel very fortunate to have this opportunity. My insurance paid for it; but if we didn't have insurance, the State would cover it.

Audiologist checked her hearing -- below normal. Has fluid in her ears, no surprise as she pulls on them. Soon will see ENT, and will likely do Tubes in her ears when she has her next surgery on July 12.

Dental Hygenist - give her water from a cup, stay away from sippy cups (which is fine as she cannot suck through the top... yet) and avoid juice as much as possible, try to limit her bottle and do not give her her bottle in the crib. Less liquid = more food. We have been doing a "good job" brushing her teeth, and her teeth look really good!!

Plastic and reconstructive surgeon, who repaired her lip and hard palate 3/29. He is in charge right now and will be, along with the Speech Pathologist, for the next several years. Next surgery in July will be to close her soft palate, put tubes in her ears, and -- the surgeon told us after he looked at her -- repair her "scar" and give her a little more lip to her lip. She still has a tiny space on the left side of her mouth.

She will have speech therapy. She is elligible for state services, which ironically are facilitated through at the Parent Child Center, at which I am on the Board, and where she will go to Day Care in September.

Oral surgeon. He'll step in at age 7 or 8 to start bone grafts and implants and other fun stuff.

Genetic counselor. Since we are not her bio parents... genetic counseling will be more to check if she is likely to pass along CLP. Later, when she is much older.

Social Worker -. Spoke to us separately to get our feedback and hear how things have been going. Relayed that it's a lot, along with her treatment for Tuberculosis (will start 90-day course of medicine), blood tests for screening for communicable diseases, etc -- just a lot of appointments and follow up and payments and a lot for HER.

We will go to this Clinic 1-2 times each year and/or as needed (i.e. will meet with the Speech Pathologist again in 6 months).

At one point, Tal sat Dalia on his lap on a chair that leans way back. All 6 or so experts peered into her one tiny mouth. They were very impressed with her skills at reaching over several tiny toys without knocking them down to grab the one she wanted.

Her language is growing every day! She has perfected her name for our dog, Charley, to "Cha Yee"-- the ch sound is like the Hebrew sound in "Chai". She has learned Up and down, in and out, boom, boggle = bottle.

I was just giving Dalia her boggle when Charley walked in the room. She yelled, "Cha Yee! Yeow!" Yeow is the sound she makes for any animal, but it is most closely related to "meow."

She likes ink drawings (Beatles "Revolver", Shins "Wincing the Night Away.") She LOVES people.

Dalia was given a welcome shower/party last week by our dear friends. Again, we are SO fortunate. She played and laughed the whole time. When almost everyone had left, and only a few of us were there sitting on the couch, she came waddling out of the kitchen, with her body bent forward, her head sticking out forward, butt back, eyes squinted in happy silliness, with an Obama magnet in her mouth. So much fun, she is!

Dalia speaking Hebrew... gifts abound

Yesterday, I took Dalia to Munford House at Middlebury College -- where I work and share space with the most thoughtful, interested, generous, and fun colleagues. It was so good to see everyone, and Dalia loved being there! Mike came out with a special box... and gave it to her. Earlier she found the gnome that had been resting in the fake orange plant since Susan Veguez departed; Gnome is now on our dining room table (see photo from tonight at dinner). Rolling man with a huge mouth was a treat, as was a Midd Kid ball from Jennifer Q, twisty colorful wooden blocks from Jen B, lots of laughing and playing. I hated to pull her away.

Someone said, "you should just teach her a third language!" She has been picking up a lot of words in English but se doesn't try to say the Chinese words that I say to her. I hope that someday she will learn some Chinese and my speaking to her will make the learning easier in some way, or feel like something to which she is connected.

She says, "uh-oh," and is learning her versions of nose, eye, hair, ear, hello, goodbye, and Charley, the name of our dog.

Since she's into everything, and there are times when I need to stop her from doing something, she is hearing the word "no" a lot. I am trying to teach it to her by telling her "no" in a serious way when she does something "wrong". Usually she ends up squinting her eyes, smiling, and leaning forward at me, which just makes me laugh and want to hug her. The other day, she picked up the canvas carrier we use to bring in wood for the woodstove which had a pile of woodchips and sawdust inside. She twirled it around, scattering the mess everywhere. I ran over and said, "no, no, no." She walked away, then went back, picked it up, smiled, swung it around, and said "lo, lo, lo." Then laughed and laughed.

The "l" sound and "n" sounds are new for her -- she doesn't make an "n" sound very well yet. Now she uses the word "lo" for "no" in the right context -- except that she says it when she knows she is doing something naughty, "lo, lo, lo."

"Lo" in Hebrew means "No."

She is such a happy girl, laughing, talking, making faces and sounds. Today, when I took her to the doctor, she went running into the office where several women were working. Then running down the hall, smiling and laughing. Her doctor said, "I like her attitude." Then, later, "Where did she come from?" I often wonder this myself in amazement, as I think, "Is she really here forever? Is she really our daughter?"

Sunday night, we went to hear Brad Corrigan, Midd '96, former member of the band Dispatch, speak to the Middlebury Women's lacrosse team about his foundation, Lacrosse the Nations. Lacrosse the Nations teaches lacrosse and other sports to disadvantaged children around the world. Brad has taken LTN to the Managua, Nicaragua city dump, where an entire community lives. Dalia walked into Kenyon Lounge and Brad was standing right there. He took the green LTN bracelet off of his wrist and gave it to her. Thanks, Brad! On the way into the athletic complex, she saw the bronze Panther and roared out her best "rarrrrrr!" while future Middlebury students and their parents were having a tour. Go, Little Panther! www.lacrossethenations.org

Tomorrow we attend the Cleft Lip and Palate clinic sponsored by the State of Vermont, Dept of Children with Special Needs. We'll get a glimmer into what the immediate future holds for little D medically. Next surgery on July 12th for her soft palate.

Grandpa Don's watching over me

Dalia takes a bottle of formula every night. She drinks it with vigor, sucking it down, breathing hard, making her special sound while doing so. I try to sing to her while she's drinking to calm her down for sleep. With all the songs I know, I can't seem to think of many good ones at bedtime, brain = mush. So I've been singing "Taps," which I learned at Camp Birch Trail at Lake Pokagema in Minong, Wisconsin:

Day is done/ gone the sun/ from the lakes, from the hills from the sky/ all is well/ safely rest/ God is nigh/ and Goodnight

Then it goes into the spiritual "All night, all day, angels watchin' over me, my Lord/ All night, all day, angels watchin' over me."

The song is way too short. So, I've started incorporating the names of her family who have passed away, whom I know are looking out for her. "All night, all day, Grandpa Don's watching over me, my Lord…" And I add in Grandma Ruth, Herbert, Cynthia, T-bo, Bets, H.K., Eleanor, Izzy, Rougie, and on and on as I think of people. Usually she is asleep before I get back to Taps.

spring saturday

What a great day we had today. After several days of rainy weather, we ventured out in the brisk wind to the Middlebury Post Office so that Dalia could have 2 passport photos taken. No, I didn't need to do this today -but soon, so why not? We waited in line. Thankfully there was a poster at about her height featuring doggies and kitties on the stamps to be released later this month. One of the photos looked just like Garfield, our cat, and one looked a lot like Jackson, Blair's dog. We passed the time with barking and meowing, or, "Yeow" as Dalia says, since she can't really say "M" yet.

Many people have asked what language she speaks. She understands most of what I say when I speak Mandarin to her. She doesn't speak any Chinese words except making a sound, "Guh" which sounds something like "Gei [gay]" which means "Give [me]". In Tianshui, where she is from, they speak "dialect," i.e. some Mandarin and some words and sounds and pronunciations different from standard Mandarin. So, there are words she is accustomed to hearing that I have likely not ever heard.

She is definately starting to understand English. We've been teaching her, and she's been repeating as best she can, words for nose, eye, mouth. She received the most beautiful set of blocks from our friends Jill, John, and Nina which on one side have images of something with the pin yin, or pronunciation in Chinese using roman alphabet underneath. For example, there is a drawing of a mouth with a tongue sticking out with the letters, "she" (pronounced "shuh") underneath. So, I pick up the block, show it to her, say the word several times, and then say it in English. (The other sides of the blocks show how to write the character, have a number on one side, and pieces of a puzzle on the other, etc.). The day after I did this with her, I was in the kitchen and she brought a block into me, and pointed at her tongue. Never mind that it was the block for "chicken;" she remembered that we had learned the word for tongue. She just hasn't learned to make that sound yet.

Tal and Calder were in Ft. Ann, NY all day for soccer -- Tal coaching and Calder playing his heart out. I was dying to get out of the house, see people, and just do something, So, we took a second trip into Middlebury to go to the last 20 minutes of the College Men's Lacrosse game (Panthers lost to the Bowdoin Bears). She sat quietly on my lap for the first 15 minutes -- a rare and treasured time. Then we saw our friend, Sue Ritter, and dashed down the steps closer to the field and sat down next to her. Aunt Sue was thrilled! After a few minutes, Dalia reached for Sue. Also saw friends Pam Quinn and the Marlows. The sun was shining, the sky was clear blue, the view of the Green Mountains was as always from unparalleled. Dalia's first day at Youngman Field.

Tal came home at around 7 and took Dalia outside to feed the chickens, along with Gus, the friendly yellow lab we are watching for a few days. An hour later, I looked out the window of her room where I was straightening up to see Dalia being pushed in the wheelbarrow.

She is well, we are fortunate.

week after first surgery

(See more photos on most recent post)

It's been a week of challenging nights for little D.
Days seem to go pretty well...her personality is charging out of her tired body and a very sore mouth and nose. Today she finally made that cute growling roaring "raarrrr" sound we started with her way back 2 weeks ago outside of the White Swan Hotel, in front of the two stone lion statues, where we would play with her while waiting for a taxi to take us to a park, temple, or restaurant.

In an instant, she had a full lip and a new nostril. She can no longer breathe and drink from her bottle at the same time as her cute little hole in her mouth is gone. Her nose has been plugged up, with blood and mucus from healing and fighting a cold. Her ears are plugged with wax and fluid. She has a mustache made of hard glue which covers the incision on her lip and will gradually fall off. It has changed colors along with whatever has come out of her nose. Mostly now it is black, from all of the blood. She wakes up many times during the night thrashing about, arching her back, crying and making short screams we hadn't heard before. On the one hand, we are in the process of repairing her mouth so that she can speak and eat properly, her lip so that she can speak properly and look the best she can within society's norms (though we miss her cute little mouth hole and funny teeth on one side of her mouth). On the other had, leaving China, entering a new world, and having surgery within a 2 week period have undoubtedly caused her no short amount of trauma.

Last night, we woke at 5 AM to find ten palm-sized dark blood stains on the bed where she was sleeping/thrashing, long clots of blood, and her face covered in blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I had awakened to the sound of her strained breathing, a lungfull of air coming out of a pinhole in the lesser plugged nostril. After speaking to the on-call doc, with the bleeding stopped, we relaxed. Turns out it is not uncommon for a child to "tongue out" her sutures. Which it appears she did.

I went back to sleep, anticipating the day ahead, though fell asleep with fears. Tal stayed downstairs with her and they both fell asleep after 15 minutes. She had a fantastic day - very active with her brothers, a long walk with Mama, wrestling with Daddy, new toys, new clothes and gifts from friends and family. Great times at her toy kitchen, petting the kitty and doggy, and - finally - eating three meals (mashed potatoes, apple sauce, juice from a dropper, pudding) Many many gifts and notes received, which her Mama has felt deeply (but has not had time to write thank you notes... alas). Gorgeous, sunny, warm weather helped a lot.

Spending Monday night in the hospital gave me a renewed respect and awe for nurses and doctors. Wow. She slept for a few hours in the afternoon after her surgery (see photo on blog) and then awoke for 5 hours of restlessness. Daddy came up to be with us after a day of work and help. We watched a few cartoons, looked at photos of our China trip on the computer. Ate jello and had a bottle... then severe discomfort, morphine, and sleep from 10 PM to 4 AM... changed diaper, looked at more photos, sleep from 5-6:30 AM. For her. Mama observed far more during the night: a wailing roomate (4 year old little girl) - finally stopped crying after 3 hours at 11:30 PM; she moved out of the room at 2 AM; cleaning staff cleaned the room with full flourescent lights on at 2:30 AM; new roommate moved in at 3:30 AM.

Nurse Jess was amazing. So caring, so helpful. Helped change diapers - which is made difficult with an IV in her foot. Let me stretch my painful legs and back. Gave meds. IV was leaking, brought in another nurse at 3 AM. Very calm the entire time. At 6:30 AM, Dalia pointed to the door; we had her IV unhooked and went exploring around the hall. We were in luck - a lot of action on the floor. Dalia was in her element. People and activity. She pointed to the murals of animals on the wall which we rolled by in a wagon with Dad the night before. She remembered the images and made her animal sounds. We walked down to the Woody Jackson cow -- a favorite of hers -- at the end of the hall and made more noises. Had some strawberry ice cream while sitting on the floor outside the nurses' station.

Dr. Laub and team came by and were quite impressed that she had eaten jello, taken a bottle and had ice cream. Definately - time to go home! The med students, residents and one attending came by again at 9 to do rounds. One student named Kai, a woman from Burma, "presented" Dalia's chart, Grey's Anatomy style. I had tears in my eyes as Dalia was alert, making connections with all of the docs (15 women), smiling, pointing, reacting. One Doc pointed out her Mongolian spots -- not bruises -- my little Appaloosa. Kai came back to check on her a few times before we left.

When I drove out of the hospital, she immediately fell asleep. I felt incredibly worn, and immensely grateful. There were many, many kids in that hospital who need to be there longer, or more frequently, with diseases, some frightening and unsolvable. I truly counted my blessings for her and for myself as we slowly drove south on Route 7 back home.

Thanks to friends and family for checking in on her!

photos - china to ripton 2010