first haircut, carousel, shelburne museum

Dalia has had a very full two days! Yesterday, she had her first haircut. Her bangs were growing out, and she looked so cute with a barette in... but she pulled out the barrette after 5 minutes. So, with the weather so hot, the bug bites many, and surgery coming up, I thought it would feel great to cut it all off. SO adorable, and wicked cool. Now she has super short hair just like Mama's stylish friend, Liz.

Daddy and Calder were away at a soccer tournament for the weekend but got back in time to watch the World Cup Final. Henry spent the weekend doing lots of reading. Last night, Dalia and I went down to the East Middlebury playground for an hour or so and had so much fun on the animals, the slide, climbing all over the place. We met some other nice little girls -- Aspen, from Granville, and 2 older girls from E. Midd who were collecting tiny frogs, the size of the tip of my finger, that were on the basketball court next to the playground.

Today, Ginger, Ralph, Dalia and I went up to the Shelburne Museum in Shelburne. This is a destination, for anyone considering coming to Vermont. shelburnemuseum.org . We went to see the exhibit "Alzheimer's: Forgetting, Piece by Piece", an exhibit of quilts about people who have/had Alzheimer's. The first quilt I approached was an image of three trees, that looked much like the Tree of Life symbol in Judaism. The leaves of the trees had words that related to the artist's father's life, his interests, and his gradual losses from Alzheimer's. I read one line of the description of the quilt and started to cry. I had to just look around at some of the quilts before I could go back and read. I found much to remember about my Dad's dementia and Alzheimer's. I also found much to appreciate about how he was throughout, and the last year of his life. In front of one wall was a counter top, a few chairs, some colorful slips of paper, and a large cardboard wall-hanging that looked like a honeycomb. Visitors could write notes, roll up the paper and put it into the wall. I took a piece of paper, with Dalia on my lap, and wrote "Dear Grandpa Don, We remember you. Love, Dina and Dalia, your Granddaughter."

Another exhibit featured old artwork and a carousel from Circuses past. The best part for Dalia was a real carousel! We rode on a white horse with blonde hair. Such fun; she didn't want to get off. She fell asleep on the way home. When she woke up, sprawled out on the couch, her first word was, "Horsey!." Here's to many more horsey rides, Dalia!

OT, ST, swimming in the pond

These are busy days for young Dalia. She has had visits from Sandy, the ocupational therapist, and Alisa, the speech therapist. I've missed out on the visits, having started back at work full time, but Tal is here, and has taken notes and me in. OT at this point involves Dalia using her mouth, her tongue and teeth and gums in new ways so that she can eat more efficiently and control her drooling a bit. We have a mirror on the table so she can watch herself eat, and we have lots of rubber toys for her to chew on, and for us to play tug-of-war with. She's got a Nuk, which looks like a mini rubber version of a medieval torture device, except it feels great in her mouth. Tal ordered some toothbrushes that vibrate. She loves it all!

Her language acquisition is very advanced, but she has problems with some pronunciation. She usually says "Na Na" instead of "Mama" but is getting better at the Ms. We are to work with her on B sounds and P sounds. We also are supposed to be working with her to get her to blow bubbles, to work on some of the aspiration sounds. She continues to surprise us with all of her words and combinations. Tal made a list and came up with 300 or so words... this in less than 4 months in the US!

Like everywhere in the Northeast, it has been so hot here... which makes it all the better for swimming! Dalia has been playing in her kiddie pool on the deck all the time. All weekend, she ordered Tal and me to dive into the pond over and over again, imitating us counting, "One, Two Three, Go!" and making a pushing motion with her hand. Minutes after we came out, she would say, "Na na? Na na? ..." until I jumped in again. Finally... Ginger managed to entice Dalia into the water by laying a towel out into the water, which made Dalia curious enough to climb on top of it. Yea! We've been having great times watching the huge frogs at the pond and listening to them talk to each other.

Today, Dalia woke up saying, "owee, owee, hurt, hurt." Somehow, we hadn't noticed a huge sliver on the bottom of her foot - and now, she couldn't walk on it. Tal decided to take her to the hospital to have it removed. Shots of Lydacaine later... major extractions and lots of screaming ... and all better.

Tonight, while she was watching "Elmo's Shapes and Colors", I was folding laundry as she was playing with a tiny stuffed animal lamb. She pointed to the t-shirt and said her version of "off", so I took the t-shirt off. She held out lamb's shirt and placed it gently in the laundry basket.

And now, this Monday will be Dalia's second surgery to repair her cleft palate and to put tubes into her ears. We will report from the hospital, if not sooner!

journey to Lake Superior, Grandma Patty's

I realized one night while trying to stay awake hoping Dalia would fall asleep that even though this blog is called "all about Dalia", it is really more about my experiences of her and with her. I hope some day she will tell her story using her own words and perspective.

Dalia and I ventured to Bob's Cabins on the shore of Lake Superior, MN, on June 17th. My family takes an annual trip to Bob's over Grandma's Marathon weekend every year. It was paradise. Bob's has 13 simple cabins spread out over the rocky shoreline on this Great Lake. On the North Shore, the air has its own rich clean piney smell, the light takes hues unlike anywhere else. From our cabin perched right above the shoreline, through our wide windows, we could hear the waves on the rocks and the loons at night.

We flew from Burlington to Newark, missing our connection as the plane left late, and when we were finally about to land, wheels down, suddenly the plane looped back up into the sky. Wind shear. So, we circled Newark while I said goodbye to arriving on time. Fortunately, we were put on a later connection, but it meant 2 hours to kill in the busy Newark A terminal... with a very well-rested and wound-up Dalia! We plopped our backpack and stroller down in the wide hallway for people exiting and entering from security to other terminals, under a huge Eagle. Dalia quickly learned the word "eagle" and said it over and over, while pointing to the eagle's eye. We made friends with an adorable 18-month old boy who was on his way to Omaha We chased each other around, I pulled Dalia out from the middle of the hallway. I pulled up my jeans, again. Put my hair back in the ponytail.

We made it to Minneapolis, went to pick up the rental car. Mama is exhausted at this point, pushing the cart with the luggage, and Dalia on top. We get to the car, a Nissan cube, 90 degrees out. Ahhh, Minnesota air, Minnesota humidity. I look in the back seat and the car seat is there, shiny new, but not attached. Since I had never put a car seat in before (Tal does this), I panicked. I did the best I could, but am thankful now that I didn't ever stop abrubtly as Dalia may have gone flying! Bad Mom. Thirty minutes later. stuck in downtown ST. Paul rush hour, her bottle falls, "goggle? goggle?" then I hear the back door open and see Dalia's foot playing with the door handle. AH! I pulled over, put the blinkers on, shut the door, tightened the seat, and turned on the door lock.

Thankfully, Dalia was her usual easy-going self for the rest of the 3 1/2 hour drive up to Two Harbors. We had a good time, singing, talking, Dalia playing with the plastic animals that GinGin had given her.

The weekend was beautiful. Dalia met all of my family, learned everyone's name -- quickly. Cousin Vivian, friend Lizzy, and Cousin Sela were all on hand to be Dalia's big sisters; Grandma Patty "Grahmma" was there to reunite with her honey, Aunt San, Lizann, Susan "Soo Sah", Uncle Adam "Adah", cousin Peter, Ned, Tom and Sally Patterson were all there to watch, play and love on Dalia.

The lake is between 35-40 degrees in the summer. Many of us jumped in -- an annual tradition -- off the sacred rock. Dalia was not affected by the cold. She waded into the water, stood there, sat in the water, played with rocks, oblivious to the temperature. She just wanted to be in the water.

The first day, she pointed to the bottom of Susan's shoes, and said, "heart." Sure enough, there was a big red heart imprinted on the sole. The next day, while walking, she looked at the bottom of her own shoes and said, "heart." Another day, Sela's blue Keens were sitting outside. Dalia pointed to the shoes and said, "Sela." A little dog named Sweetie Pie who lives at the property ran over to Dalia one day and ran on top of her and over her many times. Dalia was understandably a little scared - and cried. Five minutes later, she said, "Puppy, puppy." She decided it was time to go see the dog again and face her down. Brave girl.

Grandma Patty finished the half with a very strong time -- with many of us cheering her on. Congrats, Mom!

Sunday was Father's Day. I was missing Grandpa Don so much. This was the first year being at Bob's without him alive. I felt him there, and will always. I felt the strong Dad, the Dad that ran so many Grandma's marathons, seeing him on London Road and at the finish, with his group of running ladies, "Don's Dollies" surrounding him. The Dad I knew before the dementia and Parkinsonism. I remembered my Dad in the later days, too, sleeping, calmly eating his yogurt, swinging the wiffle ball bat and falling like a tall tree, only to say, "TFO" ("too f*&#ing old"), and was grateful for ALL of the years he was with us.

We went back to Patty's on Monday (I was sad to leave). Tuesday evening, we had the unveiling of my Dad's graveside marker and the marble bench with "Wolkoff" engraved on it. So many friends and family came out. Dalia was oddly quiet throughout. I felt similarly removed, a little numb. So hard to go back to that spot where many tears fell, but so important to do so. Afterwards, we all went out to my Mom's for dinner and conversation.

Everyone there had in some way gone through the long wait for little Dalia Ruth along with us. And now to be able to introduce her to these core people in my life, people who were so close to my Dad -- for whom she is named -- and who are points of strength for my Mom, felt so natural and whole to me.

The trip wouldn't have been complete without swimming in the Willow River... with Dalia. I carried her over to the shallow sandy side where we walked against the current, and with the current. We walked with the fish, past the crawfish and river clams. Such a joy to be there. Perhaps my most blissful moments with Dalia were on the last day up at Bob's Cabins. We woke up early, and Dalia said, "lake, lake!" We went down the lake, she played in the freezing water, then came back to me, and sat on my lap, on the rocks, without moving. We both just sat there together, looking out at the lake, with Dalia in my arms.

Words from Dalia continue to be a source of amazement for Mama (me). Or, "Nah nah", as she calls me. Dalia has started to use the word "help" instead of whining sounds when either (1) asking for something - usually something she shouldn't be playing with, or (2) asking for help. She can make a sentence, like, "Help, Mama" or, "Mama toes." One morning I read her a story about a little rooster, and made a Cock-a-doodle-doo sound. She says, "goo goo gah goo!". This morning when she woke up the second time (she woke up at 3:45 wanting a bottle), she sat up and smiled and said, "goo goo gah goo!".

World Cup Football is big here. One of Dalia's favorite words is, "Messi!" She yells "Messi", smiles and puts her hands in the air as if she's making a touchdown. Messi plays for Argentina. Tal's brother, Peter is visiting from Atlanta. I learned that today, the boys, Tal and Peter watched the World Cup for a few hours. Dalia ran around them, around and around, flopping on pillows, laughing, flopping over and over again. This is a wild child! She has so much energy.

Tonight, my Mom called. I put Granda Patty on speaker phone. As soon as Dalia heard her voice, she put the backs of her hands together and clapped like a walrus said "Ohr Ohr", the walrus noise, and then put her hands next to her head like she was sleeping. This she remembered from when my Mom was visiting in April, when they looked at a photo of a walrus, sleeping on a rock, at Lillian's desk at CAWLI, our agency.

Ralph and Ginger, Tal's parents, came here 3 weeks ago to help out while I went to work part time. They have SO much fun with her and she with them - playing, reading, doing art. Ralph is the official chicken caretaker -- he walks into our house in the morning and Dalia says, "bock, boh boh bock bock bock" like a chicken. Then she goes outside with her Grandpa, and they feed the chickens, give them water and dandelion leaves.

Dalia is elligible for services for occupational therapy, i.e. eating, and speech therapy through the Family, Infant and Toddler Program (which has a new name - can't remember!). The FIT program is run out of the Addison County Parent Child Center, where I am on the Board and where Dalia will go to day care in the fall. My insurance covers it, thankfully; but if it didn't the PCC would pay. We are so fortunate.

Michelle, the intake coordinator met with Dalia and me 2 weeks ago. I filled out a "21-month assessment" for Dalia. She is above average on developmental skills, and even on her language. A little borderline above on "problem solving" - probably because she has only been here for 3 months.

Sandy, the occupational therapist came to visit. I learned that because of her cleft palate, the nerve endings in her mouth might not work evenly - there may be spots where she doesn't feel as much or may be more sensitive. I learned that I will be doing some exercises with Dalia and some chew toys to "awaken her mouth." We'll be mixing thicker drinks for her so she can practice using her top lip on a cup and sucking in the liquid. Dalia loves popsicles - she eats 3-6 each day. Sandy thinks this is because the popsicles "awaken her mouth" also. Dalia likes to brush her teeth, which we will encourage.

Today was my first day back to work full-time. I know she was very happy here at home, so that helps. Now... off to Minnesota and Wisconsin!

Congratulations, Henry on graduating from North Branch School!! Well done. You are ready...

Cow, Car, Cat

Or, to be complete, "Cow - Moo Moo! Car - Voom Voom! Cat - Yeow!"

Dalia is talking up a storm. From the instant she wakes, she makes words and sounds. Every morning, the first sounds I hear could be:
"Foot"
"Eye"
"Hi"
"Ge Ge (pronounced "Guh Guh") - which means "older brother." Usually, she says "Ge Ge, HehYee" (Henry) all at once.
"Gar?" asking for Garfield, our cat
"Chahk" (sock)
Or, whispering, "Ba Ba" or "Gah Gah" (Daddy)

Tonight, when she was having her bottle before falling asleep, she had several glugs, then, "Owl - Hoo Hoo" every 3 minutes or so til the bottle fell out of her mouth and she conked out.

What's amazing is she can also now see pictures of the things she has words for and say the words in the book.

This morning, we read the book "The Kissing Hand" about a Mama and a baby raccoon. Yesterday, I wore a t-shirt with a cartoonish raccoon on it. As we read the book today, she perfected her version of the word, "HaaCooo(n)".

Sometimes I use words in English and then use the Chinese word. Tonight, I said, "those flowers are so pretty." She said, "Kai Yah", which is her version for the Chinese word for "pretty," "piao liang." My bilingual baby. Maybe it was an accident; I don't think so.

This afternoon while walking around the many soccer fields at the Tree Farm in Essex, with Dalia in the backpack, where Calder had a game and Tal was coaching, out of the blue I hear "Haacoo(n)!" Over and over. Not sure why she was thinking about raccoons -- or she just felt like making the sound.

As Calder played his game and I and others cheered for him, she became more adept with his name and yelled it out very loudly, "Cah Guh!"

I could go on and on, obviously!

Calder plays soccer on a club team called Synergy that practices up in Shelburne. He is #6 on the U13 team (i.e. 13 and under) with mostly 13 year olds even though he is 12. Since he's been with the club for 3 years, we know the families and the kids well. Tal, especially, since he helps coach. Today after the game, the Synergy U13 parents brought a beautiful chocolate cake with white frosting, and "Welcome Dalia" on the top -- to officially welcome our little treasure to the U.S. and the "Synergy Nation." They also gave her an adorable sherbert colored (white with pastel pink, blue, yellow, green arms, legs, and hands with white paws) bear from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. The bear is wearing a white t-shirt with a Synergy patch on the front, and on the back is stitched "Dalia - U2". We named Dalia captain of the Synergy 2 and under team!! This box that her brothers are carrying her in the photo is the teddy bear box. Thanks, Synergy!

She is doing well. I haven't written recently as time has been limited, playing with her and watching her all day -- a joy -- doing 1-2 hours of work a day, and the other stuff of home. Just exhausted. Two weeks ago she had a very high fever which turned out to be related to an ear infection. She had been tugging at her ears for weeks. She was prescribed Amoxycillin. 24 hours later she was covered in spots and huge red blotches. We are learning about which class of antibiotics she can take; and yes, I am keeping a list. Thank you Cousin/Doctor Susan for taking a look at the spot photos over the internet on Saturday night!

Tal and Henry completed the 9th grade hiking trip on the Long Trail for 3 days and had glorious weather almost the whole time; no snow this year. Ralph and Ginger return to Vermont on Tuesday, which will allow me to return to work part-time until Tal finishes school.

Oh, our other news is that a beaver has moved into our lower pond. While extremely cute, and huge, he has also already taken large chunks out of one of the beautiful birch trees. . . Hopefully by next posting, Mr. Beaver will have moved.

country girl, city girl

Dalia, Grandma Patty and I went to Boston last weekend to attend a workshop for people considering adopting Special Needs/Waiting Children from China sponsored by China Adoption With Love, our adoption agency in Brookline. Even though I would be one of a few parents who had adopted a special needs child, and it was a long way to drive... I really wanted to give back to our agency in this way and at least try to provide -- through sharing my story, our story, and dalia's story, not to mention bringing her along in person! I also just wanted Lillian, the woman who founded CAWLI (and is in the photo) to meet Dalia. And I wanted Dalia to hear some "real Chinese" from Lillian. Indeed, Lillian saw Dalia, called her Dong Ling, and said, "Guai Guai" - which means something like "Oh, good little girl." (lit. "obedient"). And then when we were taking photos, Lillian told Dong Ling to look at Mama, which she did (in another photo) -- hearing Lillian speak sounded so clear and beautiful to me, and, I imagine to Dalia. I wish that Dalia could be hearing "real" Chinese every day rather than mine.

Before traveling to China, I drove to CAWLI to go over our paperwork with Lillian. She came into the room, sat down, looked at me very seriously and said, "Dong Ling. Very smart." I thought, oh, yeah, that's what she tells everyone. But, Lillian said that the orphanage director in Tianshui had told her this. And when we met Dong Ling/ Dalia, we agreed!

At the workshop, there was a little girl, aged 3, who was brought home with hepatitis B who now shows no signs of the disease. She is definately thriving. There was another little girl aged 5 who was only brought back to the U.S. 3 months ago. This girl has cleft lip and palate. Her speech is obviously challenged. At one point, her Mom said her Chinese name, and she happily repeated her name out loud a few times and pointed to herself. She also spoke some English words. Like Dalia, she hasn't had her palate repaired yet. Another little boy was adopted 3 years ago at 3 years of age. He walked into the workshop wearing a white Tae Kwon Do uniform with a sash and patches. The attendees were in all stages of the process -- one couple had accepted a referral of a 6 year old girl and will be traveling to China soon; another couple have a Chinese daughter already and would like to adopt a second child, and others considering a Special Needs/waiting Child. One woman asked me who stayed with my boys when Dalia had her surgery.... I said, "well, they are my stepsons, so they were probably at their Mom's." She has a five-year-old son. An appropriate question.

All the while Dalia was either standing in front of the group, looking at everyone and tossing back her water out of a bottle, walking over to the other kids and getting real close, playing with their toys or offering hers, talking, or running up and down the hall with Grandma Patty. It was a joy to be there. My heart and mind hurt for the families sitting in those chairs.

The day before, Grandma Patty, Dalia and I spent the afternoon in the Boston Public Garden, walking around, looking at the flowers, listening to the fiddle players, the saxophonists, dancing, and riding on the Swan Boats. Dalia was absolutely ecstatic about the live ducks and would exclaim, loudly, "ohhhhhh!" whenever she saw one. Followed by her version of "quack quack" and waddling around on the ground. Spent a lot of time at the "make way for ducklings" sculpture of the mama duck (which Grandma sat on top of) and the 8 baby ducks. Visited our friends and their two new beautiful twin daughters. Dalia was the big girl!

We came home Saturday afternoon to Baba and Ge Ge (daddy and brothers). Sunday we went hiking -- Dalia in the pack -- to Lake Pleiad in the Green Mountains at the Snow Bowl. Dalia stripped down and played in the water; brother Henry found a red epht, brother Calder fished a newt out of the Lake. She does love being in nature and running around. Welcome, Summer for Dalia!

snowy april 28

Last Tuesday and Wednesday, we had 10-12 inches of beautiful, thick white snow!! It was beautiful to see the bright green leaves and grass (eventually totally covered by snow) contrasted with the white, to hear the springtime birds still singing in a winter setting. We lost power on Wednesday but had great time. I made a fire, boiled water on the woodstove and made Dalia's soup on the wood stove. I dressed her in her thick, padded Chinese "OK" pants and red padded sweatshirt with the Russian writing on it, and a hat. I made a snow man, she ate a lot of snow. Here are some photos.