New Year's travels, January surgery, gifts for Orphanage

Subject + verb + object. Dalia's got it down. She is speaking frequently in complete sentences. When she wakes up in the morning, it seems that her brain has learned everything from the previous day. And then she comes up with a memory from weeks or months ago. Amazing! Or, as Adam Sandler sings in his rhyming song about Elmo, "Incredibelmo!"

We had a grand adventure of travel and reunion last month. The day of the big blizzard in Boston, we drove to White River Junction and got on the oversold Greyhound bus to Logan Airport. We would overnight at the airport Hilton, spend the day in Boston and take a flight out to MN the next night, and be at Grandma Patty's in Wisconsin by 11:30 PM. Yes, long trip - but cheap flight -- and it would be fun, right? Right! No worry that the airport closed, that we waited over 30 minutes for the Hilton shuttle, which drove right by us. Or that our bags, stroller, and car seat disappeared from the sidewalk while we waited in the warming hut as the thick snow thundered down on... no one ... on this ghostly snowy cold night. "Oh no! Where are our bags??!" Thankfully, after running out into the street, anxiously looking for some sign of humanity or our bags, we saw Dalia's stroller wheels were sticking out of another hotel's shuttle, and the nice driver took us to the HIlton. Dalia loves to replay this scene over and over, "Where go Mama's bags? I dunno. Wheels sticking out. Nice man." We swam in the cold pool while the snow howled. We ate carbs. We walked around and around the airport from terminal to terminal, Dalia dressed in her snow boots, diaper, and shirt, pushing the stroller while travelers smiled. Thankfully, our flight was the first out of Logan in two days -- left 90 minutes late but we made our connection in MIL and to Grandma's that night, Thank you, Air Tran!

Froggie went everywhere with us. Froggie was a gift from Grandma Ginger and Grandpa Ralph ("Right").

We played with Grandma, cousins Vivian and Peter, Auntie KT there, Uncle Adam, Susan and Ned on New Year's Eve -- and later that weekend as Dalia played soccer with a sock monkey and giggled with cousin Sela. Visits with my loving and fun friends Michele, Liz, Kelly, John, Katie, Marc, Linda, Jay, Tam, Judy, Julie, Laura, David, and Danny -- and everyone's kids and dogs -- filled my heart. Dalia is finally having a chance to meet her extended family in the Twin Cities and Wisconsin. Tony and his mustache, Pat's toy animal hair salon... so many generous friends and family that we wish we could see more of in person. Our other friends - we missed you! We will see you in JUNE. For sure, please. Dalia and I dropped Grandma off at the airport on her way to California. As we drove off, Dalia said, "I want my Grandma!" On the way home, we stopped for a few hours in Boston, made a new doggie friend named Lady, played on Newbury Street, and went for a beautiful winter walk on a sunny day down Commonwealth Ave while waiting for our friends to drive us back to the bus station in White River Junction as they continued to Midd.

Dalia is so fun to travel with. On our last flight, Dalia got on the plane all by herself, in her purple snow suit. She walked through first class, saying "Hi" to everyone. The man in the first row said, "She is beautiful. God Bless Her."


Monday the 24th brings Dalia's next surgery on her soft palate. She has a fistula (hole) that needs to be closed. This fistula started as a pin-hole; a remnant from her last surgery August 30th. It has grown into a something easily visible. It needs to be closed to help her speech, so she will learn to make sounds that don't involve air going through her nose. She needs to have "negative pressure" in her mouth so that she can start making more percussive sounds, so she can use her tongue more. And so that food and liquids don't come out her nose.

Even though she's been through this before, it's not a snap simple, easy thing. I have been trying to keep her rested, and less sick for weeks. This is major surgery; an operation on the upper back inside of her mouth - a tiny tiny place -- Dr. Laub will this time -- I think -- be sewing some sort of patch, "alloderm" or something like that - made from tissue... on it . The most common question I hear is " Is this the last one?" The answer is "I don't know." It is certainly not her last surgery, as she will likely have many, many surgeries for her teeth and bones in her mouth, but not til she is 4 or 5. We hope this is her last surgery for her palate. First, she has to get through it.

She had blood drawn yesterday to make sure that her palate count is high enough, i.e. to avoid another incidence of excessive bleeding. See: July 12th surgery, PICU, intubation, terrifying, and mystery.

I will try to post something to the blog when the surgery is over and we are in her room on Baird 5 watching Elmo, Winnie, Mickey Mouse, or Tom and Jerry.

Last - I am getting ready to send a package to Dalia's Orphanage (Tianshui Social Welfare Institute). The package won't be there in time for Chinese New Year... next year I will try to start earlier. I want to express that I am grateful to the orphanage and the nannies there who took care of her. I am extremely grateful to her foster mother, her "Nai Nai", with whom she lived for six months? nine months? We don't know. But Nai-Nai was loving to Dalia, taught her many things, and sent her to us with gifts: a beautiful hand-knit, embellished sweater (see photos), hand-made Chinese shoes, too small now; an gorgeous, traditional red silk wall hanging with a Chinese knot.

Nai-Nai, I love you.

I will be sending some photos, along with the following items. I would really appreciate any additional items from this list to send. I cannot send money. This list comes directly from CAWLI, our adoption agency. If you would like to send something in this package, please send it to me -- email me for my new address.

1) treats ( candies ) and beauty products - like bath and body works and co bigelow that are made in US for the nannies
2) for children send coloring/activity books, crayons, stickers

I think that small, clean, newish stuffed animals are also ok.

Thank you, friends and family for your love and support. I love you!

Merry Christmas, Henry and Calder

Thanks for a fun afternoon! Love, Mei-Mei and Dina.
We love you.

On Thursday, we received Dalia's "Playlab Mid-Year Report" in Dalia's cubby, along with an adorable laminated ornament, a photo of her smiling so wide her eyes turn to horizontal slits. (One of the things I think about when I am not with her...how her eyes start to change shape when she makes a subtle joke, when she starts to laugh, and when she laughs so hard I can't see any part of her eyes.)

"Dalia is a very bright, happy, and busy little person. She adjusted very quickly to being in a new classroom and developed strong connections to teachers and peers. She is popular and has adjusted well to classroom routines. She does test limits in an age-appropriate way. Affect is almost always positive."

As Tal said, "A+ for Dalia!" The report went on to describe Dalia's Gross Motor and Fine Motor skills, Communication, Cognitive abilities, and Social/Emotional. Dalia and the other kids at Playlab received beautiful hardcover books; Dalia's is "There's a Nightmare in my Closet."

Dalia, in an orphanage and/or foster care for the first 18+ months of her life, is now more advantaged than most of the kids at Playlab in terms of the socioeconomic background (and place) and education of Tal and me, her parents. Tal and I certainly help shape her learning, her vocabulary most of all, but her personality would shine through in any circumstance, no matter what.

Most people reading this will know that Tal and I are separated (since August). We are both parenting Dalia, and working together to do so, to communicate, to understand her needs and encourage her growth.

She is now over 26 pounds. She's in the 50th percentile for height and weight, and in the 75th percentile for head circumference. Yea! I took Dalia to a naturopath last week to get input and some other options for some skin issues she's had and is having, and to learn more about what we can do to boost her immune system and help make up for all of the antibiotics she's been on. The Dr. was impressed with the variety of foods and liquids in her diet, and blown away by her vocabulary.

She is still challenged with Bs and Ps, substituting Ks and Gs for those sounds. But her "S" as in Snowman is clear as day!

Last Monday morning, she woke up and looked at the shade. "Stripes on there." Then looked at the pillow cases - the ones that were on the pillows my Mom used when she visited. "Stripes on there, too. Grandma's pillows. Grandma home." She woke up, played while I got dressed, and out of nowhere, brought me my glasses. I put some socks on her: "Dalia, these socks are a gift to you from Grandma Patty." Dalia said, "Thank you Grandma. Happy Hanukkah!"

Dalia will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Tal, Henry, Calder, Blair, and John. We are then taking the bus to Boston, and flying out the next day to visit family and friends in MN and WI. Dalia's adventures continue! Thank you - family and friends - for keeping in touch. It means so much to us.

Hello, Hanukkah!

"Hello, Hanukkah!" - Dalia's words as we pulled up to the Jewish Center at the College for Shabbat and Hanukkah services tonight with Middlebury Hillel. "Hanukkah" is a word Dalia can say with perfect clarity, too. I've been meaning to go to services with the students all year - so tonight was the night. When we gathered around the Menorah, and sang the blessings, everyone could hear Dalia's little, pretty, clear voice singing "ring around the rosey...". When we went around the room to introduce ourselves, Dalia was chitter-chattering, talking about "spinning" and watching the dreidel, one of the students said, referring to Dalia, "that is the highlight of my week."

Dalia is pure and simple joy. I wish that everyone reading this could have an afternoon with her (and then, a nap). She is nonstop fun, activity, playing, imagination, activity, trying and learning new words, making new yoga poses, running, laughing, friendly.

Her vocabulary is multiplying so quickly, I cannot keep up. Tonight, she woke up at 11 after falling asleep - finally - at 9 pm. She called for me several times, and I went in and held her. She said, "Mama, nightmare." So, we talked a little about bad dreams, and then I told her to think about all of the fun things she enjoys, and all of the people in her life who love her so much. There are many.

Daycare at Playlab continues to be fun and enriching for her. Today, she went to the library. Yesterday, to the Middlebury municipal gym. One day last week when I dropped her off, one of the high school students, Melissa, who is in the human services program at the high school/career center, said "Hi, Dalia!" and Dalia said, "hi, Melissa." She has friends of all ages.

Next surgery is scheduled for January 24th to repair her fistula (again) in her soft palate. We went to see Dr. Laub yesterday, and for the first time, she opened her mouth big and wide and said, "ahh" -- without tears -- just as we practiced! She missed school Mon-Weds, fever, ear infection, some impetigo again... but you would never have known it from looking at her. Ear tubes seem to be working... as fluid drained out. She's gained 3 pounds, is now 26 healthy pounds.


Tonight she ate fishsticks in the shape of fishies (Dr. Praeger's), celeriac and spinach pureed soup. She put the fish in the soup, "Fishy, in there." So it would swim. And ate applesauce -- Vermont Organics brand - highly recommended. And a smoothie -- finally! Sometimes she only eats almond butter.

This morning, we watched and Elmo dvd, and Mr. Noodle came on. "Mr. Noodle, moustache." We pretended we had moustaches by putting our fingers above our lips. She said, "Dalia, Moustache. Mama, moustache. . . Mama, Adam." As in, Uncle Adam, who has a moustache and a beard, whom she hasn't seen since August. Huh? She doesn't miss a thing! Happy Hanukkah, Dalia.

Oct 19 2010 - dalia's pumpkin, video then and now

Last weekend, I looked over all of the photos that I've taken of Dalia since we met her in China. It was astounding to me just how much she has grown and changed. I know, it's obvious. When people see her after a month or so, they always comment, "she looks great!" or "she's getting so tall!". But seeing those photos from March compared to being with her now really made the change apparent.

And then there's her lip and palate. Wow. I've attached 3 video clips from my camera -- one from last March, before her first surgery for her cleft lip and hard palate, and two from last Saturday. In one, we're listening to the Beach Boys, and Dalia is looking a photo of herself taken in China. The last is of her sitting on a chair, talking to herself and talking to her bunny. NOTE - am having trouble uploading video... will try again soon!

Today, we went to see Dr. Laub (again). She'll have to have another surgery #4 in January to try to repair her fistula (hole in her palate). She's doing fine; the concern is that she is developing speech habits that will be hard to break if we wait longer to repair it. And then there's the little problem of food and liquids that come out of her nose... which cannot be comfortable for her! Though she has always known this.

She has worn her mudboots (thanks, Mia and Freeman!) for 5 days straight. She will probably wear them until she grows out of them... which will be soon.

When I picked her up at Playlab today, it was almost naptime. She was in a small room with Howdy, and classmates Charles and Mark. Howdy was reading, and the kids were on their mats. As I picked Dalia up, she said, "bye Howdy, bye Izzy..." So cute to see her talk to her little friends!

beautiful fall day with Dalia

We had such a good time with Grandma Patty! Grandma left early Monday morning. Dalia still says every day, "Grandma!" Or, "Grandma, home." Last night it was, "Miss Grandma" (as I've been saying, "I miss Grandma"). Dalia does not forget people. She hadn't seen our good friend, and her "Aiyi" (auntie) Renee in 2 months -- and when Renee visited her, she remembered her instantly. Her vocabulary is stretching and bursting like a large, plump balloon. When I put her in her carseat to take my Mom to the airport, it was still dark. She said, "Mama! Moon up there." We've been reading "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?" She can say it by herself. She also says, "bunny, bunny, what do you see?... panda, panda what do you see?"

Alisa, her speech therapist visited last week after not seeing her for a month or more. Within minutes, she said, "It's happening, I'm falling in love all over again." She is very impressed with Dalia's pronunciation. We need to work on B and P sounds. She was sick the week before last, fever and impetigo - again. Also took her up to see Dr. Laub, her surgeon, and got confirmation that she still has a fistula (hole) in her soft palate. Ugh. More surgery. Hopefully not any time soon as I cannot imagine putting her through another surgery, another hospital stay, another two weeks of stage two baby foods (liquids/soft foods). But, we will see what he says in a few weeks.

She loves Playlab (day care). She is known and loved there. She has four core teachers, Howdy, Hayley, Marcie and Sara. She also has the benefit of many of the Parent Child Center staff who rotate in and out during the weeks -- bringing the food for breakfasts, lunches and snacks, which is home made and prepared at the Center down the road. Monday afternoons she goes to the Center while the staff is in a meeting - so she plays more with Peggy and Ruth. This is extra meaningful for me as I am on the board of the PCC -- and now have another reason to appreciate this place and its people. I was so sad to have to call in every morning to tell them that Dalia wouldn't be coming in again because of her fever.

Friends, colleagues, and Middlebury College people (parents, alums, students) are interested in her, want to meet her and play with her. Today, after going to the cider squeeze at Jill and Ebens, we went to the College football game. Packed stadium, gorgeous clear blue sky fall day -- leaves in peak color, views of the mountains around. So fun to share her with new and old friends.

She has grown out of many of the wonderful hand me downs that we received... the khaki padded jacket from Ruby, the blue corduroy dress with the kitties on it from Vivian... and the pink Pumas (also from Ruby). Most days she only wants to wear nothing -- or a bathing suit, like the 45 degree rainy day that she refused to wear anything but her bathing suit when I needed to take her to the doctor's office and then go into my office to pick up my computer. Everyone had a good laugh seeing her run down the hall in her blue bathing suit with the hearts on it while we were all freezing our butts off. Fortunately, we have bigger girl hand me downs from Lily, and a new batch of winter hand me downs from the Pratt-Calahans and the Cady-McCrellishes (NBS community).

I've been behind on the blog but will get back to writing and posting photos of our beautiful girl.

school days

Welcome Grandma Patty!

This morning, Patty, Dalia and I drove toward Playlab, Dalia's daycare, at the Hannaford Career Center at Middlebury Union High School (affiliated with the Parent Child Center).

As we turned into the parking lot, Dalia sat up, eyes lit up, and said, "Howdy? Howdy?" -- Howdy is the name of her favorite teacher. She loves Howdy, she loves "school." She's been going to day care for the past 2 1/2 week -- went right in and played with the play-do and the dolls and the markers right away. We are SO fortunate to have this child!! And so fortunate to be able to send her to such a positive place. 15 kids, 4 teachers, some rotate from the Parent Child Center but three are there every day. The kids go for walks through town, they explore the new bridge being built over Otter Creek, they walk to the river and look for frogs, they go to the playgrounds.

Today, my friend, Pam saw Dalia on one of her walks. She waved to Dalia and Dalia waved back. Mama was happy.

Today, we also went to visit Dr. Laub for Dalia's second post-operative appointment. All looks fine, though there is one of the fistula (holes) that is clearly still healing. We leaned Dalia back to take a look into her mouth. I could see perfectly -- a sore spot ... and a tooth!! In the middle of seemingly nowhere (no other teeth). But Dr. Laub couldn't see... so, Grandma Patty made Dalia laugh by blowing up a rubber glove... and finally Laub confirmed.

Now - we work on her speech, or rather, SHE works on her speech with her speech therapist and on her own. We see if she still has the strong nasal sound with air coming out of her nose when she speaks. And we see the speech specialist on the Cleft Lip/Palate Team in the spring.

Her vocabulary is multiplying. She can now say several two-word sentences and three-syllable words. Moccasin. Dalia's room. Come back, sun! Grandma in there. Elmo sleeping. Night night, Mama.