February 20

Happy Valentine's Day. Thinking of you, Grandpa Don, as it would have been your 83rd birthday. I miss you so much; I tell Dalia about you all of the time. Dalia wished everyone "Happy Valentine's Day" for a few days. "Smooch?" she says. BaBa came over with a beautiful watercolor card, some flowers, and a cupcake for Dalia.

She got through the 2 weeks of "liquids" after surgery (apple sauce, yogurt, hummus, ice cream, soup, soup, soup) just fine. Dr. Laub says she is healing well. We've had 2 post-op visits - he is very happy with her speech, her pronunciation. She is still having some food come out her nose....I have asked about this many times. Dr. Laub says, "we can accept this." He says it is likely that there is a tiny hole in her hard palate but as long as her speech is developing, we should not worry. The hole can be fixed later when Dalia will have her bone grafts and other work done for her teeth and jaw and bone structure. So - rejoicing for now, knowing there will be more later.

In this picture, Dalia is wearing a beautiful rain coat sent to us by Liz and daughter Lily in MN. She still prefers the diaper-only look, plus bathing suit, and/or rain coat. Her snow suit has come in handy, as I just throw it on her body over her diaper, throw on her snow boots and it looks like she's dressed. Many of the other kids at day care also go through the day gradually stripping... But - Dalia is always wearing her clothes when I pick her up.

She says some really funny things, very observant. The week after her surgery, she was watching me get dressed. I put on a white button up blouse. I don't usually wear shirts like this. So, she looked at me, seriously, "Mama, what you doing?"
I said, "Honey, I'm getting dressed."
"Mama, you a doctor?"

The phrase "I no like" is used often. "I no like you leave", "I no like empty bottle," "I no like shirt." She also is wanting to "snuggle" - -"Mama, want to snuggle?" Last week, at nap time, the entire daycare had finally quieted down, all the kids were about to fall asleep, and Dalia turned to her teacher, and said loudly, "Howdy, want to snuggle?"

Another funny thing she said a while back: She tried on some sneakers that belong to her classmate. The sneakers are sparkly and light up. She put them on, turned to her teacher, Hayley, and said, "Hayley, say 'Lookin' good, Dalia!:' "

She will stay at Playlab over the summer, 3 days/week. Her best friend, Bella, will also be there. On Friday, Bella walked up to the door, Dalia was already inside. Dalia went running up to the door, smiling and squealing -- Bella ran up to the door and through it, smiling and squealing, and the two girls hugged. They are exactly the same height - Bella is sandy blonde hair, hazel eyes, a cute little chunkster who wears Carhartt overalls some days.

Dalia loves books. THANK YOU all for giving her books as gifts -- we read them over and over. She reads a lot of Dr. Seuss with Tal - great repetition and rhyming.

Thank goodness for Ilsley Library (in Middlebury). I check out about 10 books at a time... find the ones she loves. And DVDs. "Mama, watch Looney Tunes?"
Recently, her favorites are:
any of the Olivia books
anything by Ezra Jack Keats ("The Snowy Day")
Froggy Plays Soccer
Curious George
and Mama also loves anything by Rosemary Wells, e.g. Yoko (we have 2 Yoko books), "Carry Me", "Emily's first 100 days of School," etc. I know there are many more that we have yet to discover! If anyone has any of these books in their collection and would like to hand them down to us... we would LOVE it!

I am making a habit of buying some of the books that we've read that we love, like "City Dog, Country Frog." Highly recommended for children and adults alike.

We are off to Atlanta next Thursday to visit Grandma and Grandpa Ginger and Ralph. Yea!

post surgery / new voice ?

Dalia's surgery went without complication. Yea! We asked the anesthesiologist to try to have her come out slowly... to avoid her waking up without us there (like last time), rushing back and hearing her scream for Mama. This time, we had plenty of time to talk to Dr. Laub, and then go back to post-op. It took her about 20 minutes to "wake up" and then we waited another 45 minutes before heading up to her room.

Her first words were, "My mouth hurts." Which she repeated many times until she received some morphine... and fell back to sleep. We had a nice room, down the hall from where we have been the previous three times, i.e. right outside the nurses' station. We didn't have a room mate. After a few hours of reading Dr. Seuss and Go Dog Go, Dalia was ready to drive her cars -- Baird 5 has a variety of toy cars and carts for the kids to sit in while parents "drive" around and around the floor. The playroom was fun for her - a pool of plastic balls, play ovens, plastic Plutos with cars, more and more. Oh, and the zebra that Dalia can sit and jump on.

She watched an Elmo video - lately her favorite is about the Outdoors -- animals and the weather. Her favorite part is at the very end, when a big brown swirling tornado with bushy eyebrows that comes into Elmo's house. She calls him, "mado".

We had a good time playing with her. At 8 pm, she and I were up on the "crib" bed, she was jumping up and down as if it were trampoline. She took the Oxygen sensors and put it on Tigger's foot and ear... Playing Dr. Dalia again. A few hours later, she was complaining of pain again - a full 3 hours before she was to get her next meds. "I'm not feeling well." "My mouth hurts." Then to sleep - sleep most of the night, so we did, too.

The next morning, Dalia was up and playing at 6 AM. Finally drank her fluids, which meant she could go home! Dr. Laub stopped by, heard her speak and was VERY pleased. Nasal sound... practically GONE. It's amazing. She really does sound different. Dalia ran around the hospital lobby in her diaper, bare feet and Elmo pajama top while I chased her and waited for a prescription. She yelled "neega! neega!" which is her version of "Areeba, Areeba" from the Speedy Gonzalez cartoons...Everyone coming into the hospital from the 10 degree weather smiled as they saw her. She took a wipe and cleaned off the list of donors to the hospital, carved into glass. Then at 9:30 AM as we got into the car, she slept.

She is saying full sentences, "I dropped my notebook." "I want to snuggle with you." Every day, she says more and more words and sentences; she talks about events, people and animals from the past with no prompting.

Now she is sitting across from me at the table, drawing with two little pens into her Lightning McQueen notebook. Ready to go back to Playlab tomorrow!!!

Thank you all for sending your good wishes.

some video - Jan 2011

...
-- flying in the air with our friend, Mark ( a week ago)


-- playing at home a few weekends ago
(still trying to load this one!)

New Year's travels, January surgery, gifts for Orphanage

Subject + verb + object. Dalia's got it down. She is speaking frequently in complete sentences. When she wakes up in the morning, it seems that her brain has learned everything from the previous day. And then she comes up with a memory from weeks or months ago. Amazing! Or, as Adam Sandler sings in his rhyming song about Elmo, "Incredibelmo!"

We had a grand adventure of travel and reunion last month. The day of the big blizzard in Boston, we drove to White River Junction and got on the oversold Greyhound bus to Logan Airport. We would overnight at the airport Hilton, spend the day in Boston and take a flight out to MN the next night, and be at Grandma Patty's in Wisconsin by 11:30 PM. Yes, long trip - but cheap flight -- and it would be fun, right? Right! No worry that the airport closed, that we waited over 30 minutes for the Hilton shuttle, which drove right by us. Or that our bags, stroller, and car seat disappeared from the sidewalk while we waited in the warming hut as the thick snow thundered down on... no one ... on this ghostly snowy cold night. "Oh no! Where are our bags??!" Thankfully, after running out into the street, anxiously looking for some sign of humanity or our bags, we saw Dalia's stroller wheels were sticking out of another hotel's shuttle, and the nice driver took us to the HIlton. Dalia loves to replay this scene over and over, "Where go Mama's bags? I dunno. Wheels sticking out. Nice man." We swam in the cold pool while the snow howled. We ate carbs. We walked around and around the airport from terminal to terminal, Dalia dressed in her snow boots, diaper, and shirt, pushing the stroller while travelers smiled. Thankfully, our flight was the first out of Logan in two days -- left 90 minutes late but we made our connection in MIL and to Grandma's that night, Thank you, Air Tran!

Froggie went everywhere with us. Froggie was a gift from Grandma Ginger and Grandpa Ralph ("Right").

We played with Grandma, cousins Vivian and Peter, Auntie KT there, Uncle Adam, Susan and Ned on New Year's Eve -- and later that weekend as Dalia played soccer with a sock monkey and giggled with cousin Sela. Visits with my loving and fun friends Michele, Liz, Kelly, John, Katie, Marc, Linda, Jay, Tam, Judy, Julie, Laura, David, and Danny -- and everyone's kids and dogs -- filled my heart. Dalia is finally having a chance to meet her extended family in the Twin Cities and Wisconsin. Tony and his mustache, Pat's toy animal hair salon... so many generous friends and family that we wish we could see more of in person. Our other friends - we missed you! We will see you in JUNE. For sure, please. Dalia and I dropped Grandma off at the airport on her way to California. As we drove off, Dalia said, "I want my Grandma!" On the way home, we stopped for a few hours in Boston, made a new doggie friend named Lady, played on Newbury Street, and went for a beautiful winter walk on a sunny day down Commonwealth Ave while waiting for our friends to drive us back to the bus station in White River Junction as they continued to Midd.

Dalia is so fun to travel with. On our last flight, Dalia got on the plane all by herself, in her purple snow suit. She walked through first class, saying "Hi" to everyone. The man in the first row said, "She is beautiful. God Bless Her."


Monday the 24th brings Dalia's next surgery on her soft palate. She has a fistula (hole) that needs to be closed. This fistula started as a pin-hole; a remnant from her last surgery August 30th. It has grown into a something easily visible. It needs to be closed to help her speech, so she will learn to make sounds that don't involve air going through her nose. She needs to have "negative pressure" in her mouth so that she can start making more percussive sounds, so she can use her tongue more. And so that food and liquids don't come out her nose.

Even though she's been through this before, it's not a snap simple, easy thing. I have been trying to keep her rested, and less sick for weeks. This is major surgery; an operation on the upper back inside of her mouth - a tiny tiny place -- Dr. Laub will this time -- I think -- be sewing some sort of patch, "alloderm" or something like that - made from tissue... on it . The most common question I hear is " Is this the last one?" The answer is "I don't know." It is certainly not her last surgery, as she will likely have many, many surgeries for her teeth and bones in her mouth, but not til she is 4 or 5. We hope this is her last surgery for her palate. First, she has to get through it.

She had blood drawn yesterday to make sure that her palate count is high enough, i.e. to avoid another incidence of excessive bleeding. See: July 12th surgery, PICU, intubation, terrifying, and mystery.

I will try to post something to the blog when the surgery is over and we are in her room on Baird 5 watching Elmo, Winnie, Mickey Mouse, or Tom and Jerry.

Last - I am getting ready to send a package to Dalia's Orphanage (Tianshui Social Welfare Institute). The package won't be there in time for Chinese New Year... next year I will try to start earlier. I want to express that I am grateful to the orphanage and the nannies there who took care of her. I am extremely grateful to her foster mother, her "Nai Nai", with whom she lived for six months? nine months? We don't know. But Nai-Nai was loving to Dalia, taught her many things, and sent her to us with gifts: a beautiful hand-knit, embellished sweater (see photos), hand-made Chinese shoes, too small now; an gorgeous, traditional red silk wall hanging with a Chinese knot.

Nai-Nai, I love you.

I will be sending some photos, along with the following items. I would really appreciate any additional items from this list to send. I cannot send money. This list comes directly from CAWLI, our adoption agency. If you would like to send something in this package, please send it to me -- email me for my new address.

1) treats ( candies ) and beauty products - like bath and body works and co bigelow that are made in US for the nannies
2) for children send coloring/activity books, crayons, stickers

I think that small, clean, newish stuffed animals are also ok.

Thank you, friends and family for your love and support. I love you!

Merry Christmas, Henry and Calder

Thanks for a fun afternoon! Love, Mei-Mei and Dina.
We love you.

On Thursday, we received Dalia's "Playlab Mid-Year Report" in Dalia's cubby, along with an adorable laminated ornament, a photo of her smiling so wide her eyes turn to horizontal slits. (One of the things I think about when I am not with her...how her eyes start to change shape when she makes a subtle joke, when she starts to laugh, and when she laughs so hard I can't see any part of her eyes.)

"Dalia is a very bright, happy, and busy little person. She adjusted very quickly to being in a new classroom and developed strong connections to teachers and peers. She is popular and has adjusted well to classroom routines. She does test limits in an age-appropriate way. Affect is almost always positive."

As Tal said, "A+ for Dalia!" The report went on to describe Dalia's Gross Motor and Fine Motor skills, Communication, Cognitive abilities, and Social/Emotional. Dalia and the other kids at Playlab received beautiful hardcover books; Dalia's is "There's a Nightmare in my Closet."

Dalia, in an orphanage and/or foster care for the first 18+ months of her life, is now more advantaged than most of the kids at Playlab in terms of the socioeconomic background (and place) and education of Tal and me, her parents. Tal and I certainly help shape her learning, her vocabulary most of all, but her personality would shine through in any circumstance, no matter what.

Most people reading this will know that Tal and I are separated (since August). We are both parenting Dalia, and working together to do so, to communicate, to understand her needs and encourage her growth.

She is now over 26 pounds. She's in the 50th percentile for height and weight, and in the 75th percentile for head circumference. Yea! I took Dalia to a naturopath last week to get input and some other options for some skin issues she's had and is having, and to learn more about what we can do to boost her immune system and help make up for all of the antibiotics she's been on. The Dr. was impressed with the variety of foods and liquids in her diet, and blown away by her vocabulary.

She is still challenged with Bs and Ps, substituting Ks and Gs for those sounds. But her "S" as in Snowman is clear as day!

Last Monday morning, she woke up and looked at the shade. "Stripes on there." Then looked at the pillow cases - the ones that were on the pillows my Mom used when she visited. "Stripes on there, too. Grandma's pillows. Grandma home." She woke up, played while I got dressed, and out of nowhere, brought me my glasses. I put some socks on her: "Dalia, these socks are a gift to you from Grandma Patty." Dalia said, "Thank you Grandma. Happy Hanukkah!"

Dalia will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Tal, Henry, Calder, Blair, and John. We are then taking the bus to Boston, and flying out the next day to visit family and friends in MN and WI. Dalia's adventures continue! Thank you - family and friends - for keeping in touch. It means so much to us.

Hello, Hanukkah!

"Hello, Hanukkah!" - Dalia's words as we pulled up to the Jewish Center at the College for Shabbat and Hanukkah services tonight with Middlebury Hillel. "Hanukkah" is a word Dalia can say with perfect clarity, too. I've been meaning to go to services with the students all year - so tonight was the night. When we gathered around the Menorah, and sang the blessings, everyone could hear Dalia's little, pretty, clear voice singing "ring around the rosey...". When we went around the room to introduce ourselves, Dalia was chitter-chattering, talking about "spinning" and watching the dreidel, one of the students said, referring to Dalia, "that is the highlight of my week."

Dalia is pure and simple joy. I wish that everyone reading this could have an afternoon with her (and then, a nap). She is nonstop fun, activity, playing, imagination, activity, trying and learning new words, making new yoga poses, running, laughing, friendly.

Her vocabulary is multiplying so quickly, I cannot keep up. Tonight, she woke up at 11 after falling asleep - finally - at 9 pm. She called for me several times, and I went in and held her. She said, "Mama, nightmare." So, we talked a little about bad dreams, and then I told her to think about all of the fun things she enjoys, and all of the people in her life who love her so much. There are many.

Daycare at Playlab continues to be fun and enriching for her. Today, she went to the library. Yesterday, to the Middlebury municipal gym. One day last week when I dropped her off, one of the high school students, Melissa, who is in the human services program at the high school/career center, said "Hi, Dalia!" and Dalia said, "hi, Melissa." She has friends of all ages.

Next surgery is scheduled for January 24th to repair her fistula (again) in her soft palate. We went to see Dr. Laub yesterday, and for the first time, she opened her mouth big and wide and said, "ahh" -- without tears -- just as we practiced! She missed school Mon-Weds, fever, ear infection, some impetigo again... but you would never have known it from looking at her. Ear tubes seem to be working... as fluid drained out. She's gained 3 pounds, is now 26 healthy pounds.


Tonight she ate fishsticks in the shape of fishies (Dr. Praeger's), celeriac and spinach pureed soup. She put the fish in the soup, "Fishy, in there." So it would swim. And ate applesauce -- Vermont Organics brand - highly recommended. And a smoothie -- finally! Sometimes she only eats almond butter.

This morning, we watched and Elmo dvd, and Mr. Noodle came on. "Mr. Noodle, moustache." We pretended we had moustaches by putting our fingers above our lips. She said, "Dalia, Moustache. Mama, moustache. . . Mama, Adam." As in, Uncle Adam, who has a moustache and a beard, whom she hasn't seen since August. Huh? She doesn't miss a thing! Happy Hanukkah, Dalia.